The Shrangster

I have a food-fight in the kicthens

Shrek's P.O.V:

Today was great. You might wonder why. It's ok. I am now used to yall stupid asses asking me questions. So yeah. I shall tell you why I had a great fucking day for once....I beat Lis and Steph....in a food-fight.....in the goddam mother fucking kicthens.....GREAT RIGHT?! It was fan-fucking-tastic. Food was flying everywhere! Thank the Onion God that the house elves weren't there. I wonder where they were.....probably laundry? Or probably doing they daily ritual to the Elf Satan.....yeah that's probably it.....I wonder how they try to summon Elf Satan....like do they use sacrifices such as carcasses of animals and humans.....or do they offer clothes.......gotta find that out one day but today is not the day! Today you shall find out how I beat Lis and Steph in a food-fight! I am totally fucking with you she nailed me with a pie in the last fucking second.....wait back up on the Elf Satan ritual thing, like, do the house elves have a Elf God and Elf Satan? And like some join the God and some go over to Satan? Or do like all house elves have one master and that is Elf Satan? You know I really need to interrogate the house elves on that one........Anyways back to the story, Me and my trusty musketeers decided to pay a visit to the kicthens! Kay, gonna be kinda hard to write this sooo let's flashback!
*Flashback*

Lis: Yo whatup my homies! Who wants to do something FUN!
Steph: Like?.....
Lis: Going to the kicthens!
Shrek: There are kicthens here?
Steph: Yeah no shit, Shrek
Lis:....
Shrek:.....
Shrek: Fuck there are kicthens
Lis:....no shit
Steph: Are we going or what?
Lis: YAS
*time skip*
Steph: WE MADE IT
Shrek: I tripped down the stairs twice on the way here.....
Steph: WE MADE IT
Lis: YASS 😂😂😂😂😂
Shrek: Shut the fuck up let's go in already for Christ's sake.
Lis: Dam, Shrek calm your shit.
Steph: Can't you two just shut up already I wanna get to the motherfucking food already!
Lis: For once I agree with Steph.
Steph: *puts her hand on her heart* Well dam
Shrek: *mutters* idiots....
Lis: Heard that...
*The Three Musketeers walk in the motherfucking kicthen*
Steph: WE DID IT!
Lis: YAY!.......But where are the elves?
Shrek: Who cares.......look food!
Steph: KDKSKNKSKCMDKKSKDKDK *runs up to food and starts singing 'I'm The Map'*
Lis: *whispers to Shrek* I think the food turned her insane
Shrek: *picks up a pie and throws it squarely at Lis' face* FOOD FIGHT!!!!

Present Shrek: And THAT is how you start a food fight in style muthafuckas.....I am so proud of past me lol

-Food was flying everywhere, Lis and Steph built a fort, whilst Shrek built a small wall in order to shield himself against the enemy-

Shrek: Fuck I need to break into the Enemy Headquarters.......I have a plan......a smart plan
*Shrek quickly finds a box and a long piece of broken wood, Shrek puts a pile of spaghetti on one end, Shrek suddenly jumps on the other end in hopes to shoot the Enemy, buut ends up fucking up and the spaghetti just shoots straight up and sticks to the ceiling......*
Shrek: Fuck.....that didn't go as expected.....Fuck that *picks up another pile of spaghetti and throws it free hand at the enemy, managing to..hit Lis!*
-Meanwhile on the other side, inside the Enemy Fortress-
Lis: OH NO I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH SPAGHETTI, FUCKFUCKFUCK
Steph: Rest in piece, My fallen tribute *does the three-fingered salute, does the Mockingjay whistle*
Lis: SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS ISN'T THE HUNGER GAMES THERE'S LITERALLY FOOD EVERYWHERE.
Steph: It was great being your ally, but now, me must go alone, take down The Capitol and fight to freedom...
Lis: You're dramatic as hell. Fuck it if you're not gonna do it, I will. *waits for Shrek on the other side to stand up to shoot some more spaghetti, just as he stood up Lis shot a pie at his face ending the 74th Annual Hunger Games*
Steph: *does the Mockingjay whistle and salute* We did it! We won!
Lis: Lol yeah. IN YO FACE SHREK! GET SHREKT!
-Meanwhile on the other side-
Shrek: I regret everything.

*Back to the present*
I STILL can't believe Lis did that....SHE EVEN BURNT ME WITH MY OWN NAMESAKE.....What is wrong with me....but don't you worry Lis.......You shall pay for this day......I shall get my revenge on the Mockingjay for I am.......*rips off the Shrek face mask to reveal President Snow*......PRESIDENT SNOW!