Meet Shrek, your common-life ogre.....or is he? Half-Ogre and Half-Wizard. That's right, you read it right. Go along Shrek's life as he goes through challenging trials of friendship and betrayal. Find all this out in THE SHRANGSTER.
The only charact...
Guys I need your help, quick where can I hide a pound of weed? I don't want Filch to accidentally find it and get high again. I wonder if I just dump it in the Black Lake....but then Nicholas Cage will get high...you are probs wondering how the fuck Nick Cage can get high...I named the Giant Squid, Nicholas Cage. You got a problem with that? Oh you do? Then get the fuck out we don't need you greasing up my gorgeous fanfiction anyways. Fuck it, I'll just ride along on a thestral and sprinkle that shit all over Hogwarts. It would be hella cool cause: 1. I will seem like I am floating cause no one here can see thestrals...I think. 2. That's it basically. I wonder where Hagrid keeps dem thestrals...The Forest! To the forest it is! *LE TIME SKIP* Kay I am in the forest now. I am now entering the forest. The forest is creepy. Really creepy...I wonder how many people die here...Ok focuse now Shrek remember we are here for dem thestrals. Though there is an 84.654% of actually finding a thestral. I mean this place is filled with all kind of stuff that you can never imagine...Like maybe I'll find an acromentula or something. Hopefully ogre meat tastes bad to acrometulas..hopefully.. *le sigh* I give up I'm going back it's either that I gave up looking for those thestrals or am starting to not like wandering here alone...imma stick with the first reason. Hmm maybe next time I'll take some friends with me on this wonderful field trip to our deaths...meh maybe next time. Now I always wanted to play Nancy Drew. Time to unlock my next mystery!
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ALMOST there!
Just a teeny tiny bit further
ALMOST
There
ELF SATAN'S RITUAL ROOM
DUNDUNDUNNNNNNNNNNNNN I am guessing you remember that time where I found out about ELF Satan... IN chapter 13 to be exact. Ooh chapter 13, spooky! I found out about ELF SATAN in CHAPTER 13, Coincadence...I think NOT! I am gonna go to Da castle and find this secret ROOM!! Probably I should be avoiding elf related stuff since last time I got blamed for blowing up the kitchens....I mean I did get a month's detention but now, I wanna live life dangerously! Plus I always wanted to be Nancy Drew. Solving mysteries and such. Wait Nancy Drew is boring can I be Scooby Doo instead? Cause Scooby Doo is Scooby Cool!...Oh my onion god that was horrible please forget I ever said that...but seriously I wanna be SCOOBY DOOBY DOOOO. Oh yeah Random Fact of the Day: Did you know that Scooby Doo's full name is Scoobert Doo? Weird right?
Scoobert Doobert Doo What have I done?
SCOOBERT DOOBERT DOO, WHERE ARE YOU?!
Ok I'll stop now. Ya know what's weird? How Shaggy becomes a human porcupine when he's scared...
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See???? I wonder if he did a Hermione....ya know, poly juice potion gone wrong and now he is stuck as half human half animal forever and now his side effects are that his hair become like porcupine quills when scared or alert, cause he's half porcupine...what a logical headcannon. Ok no I keep getting distracted I gotta find Lucif-Elf' s room of rituality.
Ok so now I am on the highest floor of Hoggy Warty Hogwarts... The 7th floor...
Pacing around, And around, And around...
I noticed a door from the corner of my eye. I didn't notice it before and believe me it wasn't one that you would notice right away. It was made out of the same brick as the walls as if to camoflauge it...
SUSPICIOUS
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Hmm........ Imma open it. But what if it's locked.....well then that's why we have magic! Oki so I tried kicking in the door and it totes worked! But now I am walking in a dark corridor and something seems kind of...
SUSPICIOUS
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Oh god I can hear some kind of chanting...is that normal?
I found another dooor..so tiny gonna have to squeeze in.
Aaaaaand holy shit. There really is a ritual ROOM in Hogwarts..... Wow. It's all dark and shit.. There is some kind of star on the floor, you know like the one you make to summon someone or something? Onion god... I feel like Scoody DOOBY fucking Doo now...terrified.... So many elves chanting in one place... I swear why are there so many ritual knives? Imma just gonna go before they notice.................................................
THEY HEARD ME THEY HEARD ME THEY HEARD ME THEY HEARD ME
I AM NOW BEING CHASED BY A SMALL ARMY OF MUTANT HOUSE ELVES, YEAH NOT SCARY AT ALL RIGHT? WTH HOW DOES DUMBLEDORE NOT REALIZE SHIT LIKE THIS IS GOING ON IN THE SCHOOL?? HE RUNS THIS PLACE HE SHOULD KNOW. I SWEAR THESE ELVES PRACTICE RUNNING MARATHONS OR SOMETHING CAUSE DAM THEY ARE HELLA FAST....
Ok they gone now. Thank the onion god... Yeah next time I try and investigate Lucif-Elf's hangout place imma bring some friends with. Now back to working on that theory that I had earlier...about Shaggy being half porcupine.....
