Sincerely, Tyler ▸ (Sequel to Dear, Rosemary)

4

*this chapter is slightly triggering, don't read if you're uncomfortable with or are battling self harm*

Last night, I did something really awful. Something incredibly stupid that I know Rose would be crushed by. She would become entirely like a glass cup, smashed onto the ground under the hands of complete carelessness, the shards everywhere representing her tears and sadness. I knew her too well.

We had made a promise with one another. Promise, no. It was more than that. It was an oath we almost swore to, a vow.

We'd be okay for each other. We would think twice about the things we did, in order to protect the other person, if that was what it came to.

We needed to be strong for one another.

But, I'd let it slip out of my grasp. I let it emit itself from all possible human force, into a hole where broken trust words fall.

Last night was something I regretted so much more than anything else.

I hurt myself.

My fingers hurt my body, hurt my wrists. Five minutes of my life was used up fully to the brim with pain and utter remorse.

What hurt was the equivalent use of time those five minutes could have done for me instead. Those five minutes I could be out on a jog with Rose. She could have finished up her painting of me. I could practice a few songs with Josh or even continue trying to learn how to skate through Ryan.

But no, I stupidly gave in. My idiotic mind was in a dark place. I couldn't stop myself.

My weaknesses against him were growing, he was overpowering, sadistic and non-merciful to the greatest. He's watched me cry in pain, he's sent me those nightmares, and it goes to show that he really has come back into my life to harm me. This wasn't over for him -

I closed the cover to the beaten up journal in a quickened second as the door creaked open. The sleeves on my shirt were pulled down immediately, and I held them in place so tightly, I worried my knuckles would burst out of my skin.

I carried on nonchalantly, placing the journal back into my sock drawer, etching it further into the back of the wooden boards.

"Hey, Rose," I smiled, just realizing that she was coming out from her shower. She smiled towards me, giving me a moment to admire her as she'd turned around.

Her skin was beautiful, something I knew she was incredibly insecure about, though. Her hair had grown longer and I remembered the times she worried it didn't look flattering on herself, edging me on to go with her for a cut. Another thing we could have done together instead of my awful mistake.

I made my way towards her, feeling thankful and somewhat needy as I usually always was.

I'd gone to hug her, my hands holding her waist so tightly until I realized she was silent. Worry hit me, and I turned her body around to face me almost instantly out of fear.

"Tyler," She whispered, her cold fingers trailing on my forearm and down to the cuffs of my sweater. Her touch lingered there for far too long before I realized that she had found out what I was trying so hard to hide.

"Rose, don't -" I had moved my arm away from her grasp, and hid it behind my back.

"Did you want to tell me something?" Her voice crackled and broke slightly as she stood there vulnerable already, in only a towel and some slippers.