Sincerely, Tyler ▸ (Sequel to Dear, Rosemary)

32

"Hey Josh?" I whispered into the darkness of his bedroom, my knuckles turning white as I knocked softly onto the wood of his door to catch his attention. He'd been on his phone, luckily, and not asleep like how I'd been expecting. His eyes met mine and I spoke up quickly out of nervousness, "Um, I just wanted to tell you something." My thumbs fiddled around with each other as I awaited his response.

He sat upright in the bed as I began to approach him hesitantly, "Of course, Ty. Come sit. Ryan's in the kitchen making herself some tea so she'll be a while."

I nodded gently after taking his words into consideration, my body meeting the spot he'd patted down for me. From the corner of my eye through my peripheral vision I'd noticed the somewhat distressed and confused expression growing onto Josh's face. "What's wrong, man? You're shaking," He spoke concernedly. I knew I had been acting that way due to the fact that I decided to skip on taking my medication. However, I needed to play my cards out right so that nothing would be suspicious.

I smiled out sadly to him, catching the boy off guard as my arms wrapped around his shoulders suddenly, a few tears silently rolling down my cheeks, "I just wanted you to know I love you, Josh. You've been the greatest friend to me that I could've ever asked for. Thank you for taking me into your home and caring for me this way."

Josh chuckled out slightly in shock at my sudden emotional words. He patted my back soothingly before pulling away from me slightly, "Tyler, you'll forever be a brother to me, buddy. I would do anything for you without a doubt in mind. Your always going to be someone I care for so much."

I winced unnoticeably at the tone he spoke in. It was so sincere and loving, and it hurt that I'd soon be away from that. Regaining my composure, I cleared my throat and stood from the bed, "I'm not sure why I told you this so randomly. Uh, I guess tonight was just one of those nights." I lied, knowing well enough why I decided to do this.

Josh smiled softly from his spot, "That's okay, Ty. I'm always here and you know that."

"Of course," I said truthfully, scratching the back of my neck, "I also just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be heading out soon, just for a late night run. I've got a lot going on in here," I pointed to my head, shooting him a persuasive smile as I tried to act casually about my action.

Josh seemed to take it that way as he nodded understandingly, "Don't be too late, and answer your phone this time," His voice raised as he playfully scolded me, "That's why you have one!"

I shook my head at his overreaction, "I'll see you, Josh," and with that I stepped back out the door, shutting it behind me after waving goodbye to him and making my way over into the kitchen. Ryan sat perched onto the counter as she waited for the whistling of the kettle to erupt into her ears. I startled her slightly as I placed a hand on her shoulder, apologizing to the frightened girl after we had locked eyes, "Jesus, Tyler!" She shrieked, hitting my shoulder, "Did you just come in here to scare me or shall I grab another mug?" She huffed out.

"No, no, that's fine," I insured, "I'm going to be leaving soon for a run -"

" - Ty, it's dark," She cut in immediately, already seeming to hate the idea of me stepping out the front door. I held my hands out to try and show her I had everything under control, "You don't have to worry about me, I'll be okay. Just..." I trailed off, not necessarily knowing how to bring up such a topic casually. I decided to just be plain and simple, "Ryan, I appreciate all of your advice a lot. You really helped me when I fell off in that period of my life because I took your words for thought and I came out happier. I'm just happy I was able to meet you and have you in my life."

Ryan seemed a little taken aback, and she scoffed nonchalantly, "Why are you telling me this as if your moving to Honolulu forever or something?"

My eyes widened slightly before I contained myself, "Um," I chuckled along with her, "It was just something I wanted you to know. You've been a great friend to me, Ryan."

"Aw," She smiled, breathing out in flatter as she pulled me in by my arms for an embrace. The kettle behind us screamed out in completion, allowing us an opportunity to break away. Ryan pushed me back slightly towards the door, "Go out for your little jog. I expect you back by at least midnight," she pointed towards me as a mother would do with her child before tending to the tea.

"Bye, Ryan," I nodded over to her, making sure to grab my backpack as I left through the front door. As it hit me on the way out I turned to face the apartment, taking into consideration that this would indeed be my last time standing outside of it. I breathed in and out, trying to calm the rising build up of nerves and anxiety that trembled into the pits of my stomach.

I couldn't waste anymore time. The more I'd think the more I'd only hurt myself in the end. I had my plan mapped out and right now overthinking would be something destructive against it. I knew where I was heading, and there was nothing at this moment that could stop me from this decision.

An uber had already been present outside awaiting my arrival and I knew then that soon I would be forever content.