i smoke to die. // djh + pml

seventeen / / existential crisis.

i've spent my entire life
making people happy
when all they did was leave

Phil

when the movie finishes, i can tell dan fell asleep before, his breathing was steady and little cute snores came out of him.

i didn't want to wake him up, he always looks so beautiful when he's sleeping. so, i decide to carry him in my arms, carefully, and bring him upstairs to his bed, i gently set him down, bringing the covers over him.

i just then quickly got inside the covers with him, and stared at him, that may sound creepy, but, anyone would stare at him, he's so gorgeous, every part of him is perfect, i don't understand how someone this beautiful can be so sad.

but, i decided since the day i met him, i was going to change that.

"i love you, dan" i say, knowing he can't hear me.

i stare at him one last time before going to kiss his forehead, i wrap my arms around him, and then, i close my eyes, moments later, i fall asleep.

~~~

i wake up and notice that dan isn't in bed, that's weird, he wakes up pretty late.

i rub my eyes and put on my glasses, not wanting to put contacts in today, i get up and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

i then go downstairs and look for dan in the living room, then i check the kitchen and he's there, cooking.

i decide to try to be quiet and stare at him while he cooks, he's listening to music, singing and dancing while cooking, i can't help but smile at how adorable he is, once he's away from the stove, i decide that's my moment to come in, i wrap my arms around his waist and put my head on his shoulder, kissing it "good morning".

he jumps a little at first but then relaxes into my touch. "good morning, philly"

"what are you making?"

"pancakes"

"really? my man knows how to cook my favorite breakfast dish?"

"well, phil, technically i'm still on the market, so, i'm not your man" he teases.

"is that so?"

"mhm" he mumbles.

"i guess i'll have to watch out for any boy that talks to you, even troye"

"you're jealous of troye?!" he turns around and faces me, i just bury my face into his shoulder again, in embarrassment.

"oh my god, you are!" he starts laughing. i still say nothing in response.

he raises my face up, making me look at him in the eyes. "phil, troye is my best friend, and you're my..." i raise an eyebrow.

"..you're my friend with benefits?"

"gee, thanks, dan. that completely makes me feel better"

"well, i can't lie and say you're my boyfriend, you're not."

"yet. you could have said 'soon to be boyfriend'" i pout a bit.