Empty City

7

I must have fallen asleep, because when I wake up the sun is setting, and the air is chilly.

He is still gone.

My heart is heavy, and my eyes raw from crying. 

I look at the map, and wonder if I can make the trip myself. Maybe I can. Maybe I will. I don't need a stinkin' boy to go with me. I'll go to the superstore and stock up on a couple more knives, and then I'll be set. 

"I'll go by myself," I say loudly. The empty room echoes my words. It feels nice to hear a human voice. Even if it's my own.

I put on my jacket and visit the superstore, where I stock up on some defensive weapons and more food. I treat myself to some chocolate, but steer clear of the cookie aisle. I have a feeling I won't be eating Famous Amos cookies anytime soon.

When I get back, it is completely dark and the stars have come out. 

I sit in the room, huddled in my sleeping bag, and study the route again.

"I'll go by myself," I say again, "and find out if there are other humans around, and I don't need no stinkin' Thomas."

"Ouch. I was only gone a day and you're already hurling insults my way?"

I turn towards the door so quickly I almost crick my neck.

There he is, standing at the door, his pack slung over his right shoulder, a bemused look on his face.

I jump to my feet. "Where the hell have you been? I thought you'd abandoned me!"

"I'm so sorry, Jill. I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd go fishing. I found a little creek area where there were - you wouldn't believe it - crawfish! But when I tried to get back, I got lost. I should've left you a note or something. I didn't think I'd be gone look. Seriously. I'm sorry. But hey, look!" He held out a net. Shellfish wriggled inside it, dripping water onto the floor. "Seafood for dinner!"

 I laugh. My laughter becomes tears. In seconds I am full-on sobbing, like shoulders-trembling kind of sobbing. I crumple to the floor in a sobbing, sorry heap.

"Oh, Lord. I'm so sorry, Jill. I'm so, so sorry." He kneels next to me and wraps his arms around me. He rocks me back and forth. "Shhh. It's all okay now."

That makes me sob even harder, because yesterday I thought everything was okay, and this morning everything went to shit.

"I promise I won't leave like that again," he whispers in my ear, sending goosebumps down my skin. "I promise."

Then I cry because of how dependent I have become of him. Of how empty I felt when he was gone. Do I feel this way because he is the only person around? I cannot be more confused.

When I finally speak, I feel like a little girl. I still cannot meet his eyes. I don't want him looking at my blotchy post-sobbing face.

"You promise?"

He nuzzles his face in my hair, and hugs me tighter. "Promise. Pinky swear. On my honor."

I laugh. "Damn, I didn't get any tissues."

"I have some." He lets go of me, digs into his pack, and offers a pack of tissues. 

I clean up the tears from my face, and blow my nose into the entire pack of tissues. He offers me more. 

"You scared the shit out of me, you rascal."

His voice is forlorn. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Apologizing won't fix everything."

"What about crawfish?"

"Maybe."

"Then sit back and let me make dinner tonight."

"It'll better be good." 

He grins. "It'll be the best meal you've ever had."