An introduction to me

Late night rant please ignore

I keep finding all this shite that I wrote or did or made ages ago and it's making me want death like I reread this whole book earlier because I wanted to see how much I changed and at the beginning I was a much nicer person but I was so damn pretentious and ugh I despise past me and present me and probably future me too unless she ups her game like a lot.

I'm sorry it's late I've drunk a lot of tea and there was nothing good on tv so now I'm lying here in the dark bc why not

Honestly the only way I can actually fall asleep anymore is by watching those "most satisfying video on YouTube" videos, which literally all have that exact title may I just say, until I fall asleep but if I fall asleep with my headphones on aka all the time I have really messed up dreams idk

I have to go back to school in a few days and honestly there's nothing I want to do less like I would legitimately rather give myself a haircut blindfolded and bathe in milk (I hate milk btw) than go back to school I am so unready for all that and I'm still recovering from Christmas and new year and I might cry I have a physics test the first day back which I'm sorry I'm not going to revise for and I can't even report the teacher for giving holiday homework because she let our class vote on whether we wanted to have it on our last lesson but only have one revision lesson or on the first day back and other people??? thought having a test???? on the first day back was going to relieve???!!?!! stress?!!!?!? I'm sorry I'm angry about this and none of you care but I need to anger at someone or I'll break something

I just

Yeah

No

So far I really really hate 2017 and literally nothing has happened we're one day in and I already want to swallow a grenade

Do you ever wish you could hire someone for you to rant at but who's more than a therapist like someone you can rant at who you can slap when you're angry and who will hold you and play with your hair and bring you food you don't feel guilty for eating when you inevitably break down immediately afterwards? Yeah me too

So I went away for a lil over an hour and I'm a lot calmer now it's call good I am no longer considering the physics and biological probability of being able to force a grenade down my throat and I also can't spell probability right first time and my phone doesn't think throat is a word

I'm sorry anyone who's actually reading this it's just a late night rant and I've started on the satisfying videos (which by the way are mostly not that satisfying I mean a lot of them annoy me more than relax me but it seems to work somehow) so I might be sleeping soon honestly who knows at this point

Yeah sorry

Love you all

-Iz xoxoxo