i just found out im moving. to a new state. i've never lived out of california before. my entire family lives in california. everyone i know lives in california. yet we're moving to arizona.
i can't tell if i'm happy about it or what.
on one hand i don't mind leavin because i don't really have any friends anymore. all my friends have and are moving on without me. i don't hang out with anyone in particular on a regular basis. so what difference does never make.?
on the other my entire life has been california. seeing the ocean everyday. that's what i'll miss most.
ugh i just- this is home. i'll be moving on to newer and (hopefully) greater things. i will always be moving on in my future so i should just get used to it now. otherwise i don't know how i'll ever be able to move out.
i just really don't want to hear "oh no! what will i do without you?!" after i tell people. continue to live in your peaceful californian home jackass. you're not the one who has to adapt to a new area, house, weather system, state, type of people, and life. you'll have your consistent life that you so much enjoy with one less person. that's what you'll do.
aghhhhh. i don't even know what im going to do. my room in arizona is small small small but i'm just happy to know that next month i won't have to fall asleep to the sound of my brothers snoring.
arizonas so hot. and it's a desert. i mean california is a desert but it has ocean. and prettiness. like trees. where's arizonas trees? they all got replaced by cacti.
and the house is like way out in the rural area but in the middle of a super cookie-cutter-modern-suburban-get-me-outta-here neighborhood. there's a high school a block away that i'm already not allowed to go to. so i can't even embrace the modern normal suburban teenager lifestyle. i have to still be a charter school kid.
i honestly think my school will be one of the top things i'll miss most. i love my friends there because i've known them for a long time (considering how long i've lived in san diego) and because even as much as they grow and change they still (have to) stay with me.
not a lot of people do that.
my brother already has three kinda friends in arizona. i haven't met one. there's 12,13,15 year old boys. that's all. like guys. where them girls at. i'm fine with having guy friends - that's not the problem- the problem is that all three of the boys are like clones of my brother.
so no thanks.
bye.
i just want at least one friend. is that too much to ask for?
probably
i cant really stand this whole move and i'm on my period so whenever my mom tries to talk to me about it i just get really direct with her. she hates me.
but i need to just pull it together and face the music - i'm moving to arizona. for my mom.
i only have three more years in her household until i can move wherever i want so what's three more years?
it's fine.
i'll be fine.
i'm always fine.
i'll probably delete this later. i just started typing and i couldn't stop.
