Weight In Gold (Brendon Urie)

The Kiss

After third period I start to walk to the cafeteria, and unsurprisingly, Allie follows me there. She seems to think that high school is exactly how you see it in the movies. "Why don't you sit with me and my friends today?" She asks me. "Uh, I think I'm just going to sit over there," I say, pointing at the table where Brendon, Ryan and a few other people are sitting. Allie looks at me like I'm crazy. "Um, I don't know what your deal is with Brendon, but him and Ryan are basically inseparable. And those other guys are not the most approachable." I really like pretending like I don't know Brendon and Ry, so I plan on doing it as long as possible. There's also a part of me that's jealous of Allie because of her interest in Brendon.

I definitely think I like Brendon. I don't know if it started right after I moved here, but it was pretty soon after. I haven't told anyone about it. I doubt I have a chance with him. After all, he could probably get any girl in the school if he tried.

"I think I'll be fine," I say to Allie as I walk over to the table. She tries to protest, but she looks too afraid of walking over to where they're sitting.

When I get to the table, I sit by Ryan. The other people introduce themselves to me, and I smile and wave. I don't remember most of their names, except for one named Pete. He was nice.

In all the rest of my classes, all we do is go over what we're going to do that year, and before I know it, school is over. I have sixth period with Ryan, so we walk over to Brendon's locker together and then the three of us go to the car. Brendon drops off me and Ryan at the house, and then goes to work.

"Want to help me dye my hair, Ry?" I ask him. "I have no idea how to do that," he says. "It's fine, it isn't very hard," I reassure him. He shrugs and walks upstairs with me.

Ryan ends up chickening out and doesn't even touch my hair, but he does convince me to give him a tiny blonde streak in the front of his. While my blue dye is setting, Ryan and I get on the topic of relationships.
"It's been a while since I've dated anyone," he says. "My last relationship ended really poorly," I reply. After a second, Ryan and I lock eyes, and then we start leaning in to each other. Before our lips touch, we both jerk away.

"I'M GAY!!"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND!!"

The two of us stare at each other, shocked by what the other just heard. "Does Brendon know you're gay?" I ask. "Does Brendon know you like him?" He counters, as if answering my question for me. "Why did you tell me before him?" I ask. "I don't know, it just sort of happened." he responds

"Well, that was unexpected," Ryan says after a second and laughs a little. I laugh a little too, but I stop and resume my serious face after a second. "Ryan, you can't tell Brendon a word about this." I tell him sternly. "But what if-" "Not a single word Ross." I can't let Brendon know anything about this. "Fine." He looks a little bummed out, but he moves on from it quickly. "And Ash, I want to tell Brendon on my own. Please don't let him know that you knew first, that would really make him upset." I nod at this.

"Let's watch a movie while we wait for my dye to set," I recommend to Ryan. "Only if I get to choose the movie," he replies. I roll my eyes, but still let him choose. While he's getting the movie started, I make some popcorn. When I walk into the living room, I see that Ryan put in The Shawshank Redemption. It's a really good movie, so I can't argue with him.

Brendon comes home at the very end of the movie. He walks through the door, and looks pretty tired. He's still wearing his apron from work, too. "What are you guy's watching?" he asks as he throws his keys on the counter. Ryan and I awkwardly look at each other, afraid that if either one of us speaks, we'll say something we regret. "Aw, are you guys watching The Shawshank Redemption without me? Ry, you know that's my favorite." He pouts. Instead of jokingly arguing with Brendon like he usually would, he just quietly says "sorry."

Brendon crinkles his eyebrows and makes a confused face, but shrugs a bit and walks over to the couch. When he sits, he's so close to me that I can feel his leg next to mine. Unlike Brendon who is lounging on the couch casually, Ryan and I are sitting with perfect posture and eyes that are slightly wider than usual. Me liking Brendon feels so much more real now that I've said it out loud, which is a real problem.

Brendon turns off the movie and puts on Friends, and still, I stay just as still as before. A few minutes into the show, my alarm goes off signifying that I have to rinse my head. Ryan and I are both so on edge that when the alarm goes off, we shoot up from our seats into standing position. "Ryan, why don't you come help me rinse my hair?" I say uncomfortably. "I can help too," Brendon says. "No no, don't worry about it. You're probably very tired." I tell him. He gives me a suspicious look. "Ashley, can I talk to you for a second? Privately?" I gulp and follow Brendon into the kitchen. He talks to me in a hushed voice.

"What is going on with you and Ryan?" He asks. "I...I....well...n..nothing," I stutter out. "The two of you are acting very strange," he says, seemingly concerned about us. "It's nothing. Seriously." So much for not letting him know something's up. He looks unconvinced, but he lets it go.

I look at the clock and see that it's  nearly 8. "Where are Jodie and Rick?" I ask. "Probably out with friends or something. They aren't home much." He says. I nod and walk back into the main living space. "Ryan, want to come help me?" I ask. He stands up and follow me to my bathroom. As soon as the door's closed, we both let out a large breath of air. "This is going to be a lot harder than I thought," I tell him. "I think I'm going to tell him when he takes me home tonight," Ryan says. "Are you sure, Ry?" He nods and helps me start removing the tin foil in my hair that was keeping it in place while the dye worked. "I already know he's going to be accepting," he says confidently. I nod and lean over the egde of my combination bathtub and shower. Ryan takes the detachable shower head and starts running it over my head. To help the dye rinse out faster, he massages my scalp with his fingers. It helps me relax, and for a few minutes I can take my mind off of how difficult things are going to be with Brendon.