Weight In Gold (Brendon Urie)

The Safehouse

The mildewy smell of the room crowds my nostrils the second I wake up. Brendon is still sleeping peacefully next to me, so I hold on to him for as long as I can before we have to start driving again. I think we should make it to Arizona tonight.

I feel Brendon roll from his side to his back, so I open my eyes and look over to see him slowly waking up. I kiss his cheek and find my way out of bed and over to my bag. I don't really feel like actually getting dressed, so instead I just put on a hoodie and some sweatpants and brush my teeth. I look at my phone, which tells me that it's about 9:30 am and although I didn't get nearly enough sleep, if we want to get to Arizona and back home in time, we have to leave now.

Brendon doesn't take long to get ready, so in a matter of minutes we're driving away from the motel. We drive for hours, talking mostly about our pasts and what we did when we were younger and also talking about what our plan was for Arizona, and when we weren't talking we were playing a road trip game or singing along to the radio.

We drive into New Mexico (which is only one state away from Arizona) at around 11 pm, which is ahead of schedule due to Brendon's fast (and a bit reckless) driving. I have my head leaning against the window with Brendon's hand on my leg, and I'm just about to fall asleep. Suddenly, I feel Brendon's hand jerk away and fly to the steering wheel and I hear the wheels screech like crazy. The car feels weightless for a moment as the tires skid across the pavememt, and I really start to panic when I realize that we're driving over a mountain pass with no railings, and Brendon just lost control of the car.

I think that this is the end, and prepare myself for the fall down the mountain that will surely kill me when the car abruptly haults, throwing me around in my seat so much that I feel pain in my back

"What just...happened?" I say, my hands shaking from fear. "I don't know, I must have gone over a pothole or something," Brendon says, much calmer than me. Then he looks over and sees the expression on my face, and immediately tries to comfort me. He puts his arms around me and holds me right while I calm down as best I can. I'm fine after a couple minutes and Brendon starts driving again, but there's still immense pain in my back. I can't shake the feeling of nervousness for the rest of the drive.

We drive for the rest of the day and finally get into Arizona at 2:30 A.M. "do you know of anywhere we can stay for a few days?" Brendon asks. I'm about to say no and remind him that I have no friends or family that would want me here, but then I remember one place that just might work. "Can I drive?" I ask him. He nods and pulls over so we can switch places, and I start driving towards a place that I've spent countless days and nights at.

25 minutes later, I pull up to a moderately large but still cozy house with a handful of cars parked in front of it. "What is this place?" Brendon asks. "We called it 'the safe house'," I begin to tell him, "It's where you would go if you were running away from home or if you needed somewhere to spend the night at. My friend Dax got it passed down to him, and turned it in to what it is today." I smile remembering the good times I had here. I wasn't very close to Dax in the last few months before I left home, but he used to be one of my best friends. "Will he be up?" Brendon asks. I laugh and nod. "He's basically an owl."

Brendon and I get out of the car, leaving our stuff just in case we have to find a different place to stay, and approach the front door. I knock three times slowly and then twice quickly just like I always used to and wait for someone to open the door. It isn't Dax himself who greets me, but instead his sister Anaya who I knew really well too.

"Oh my god, Ashley? It's been like a year where have you been?" She asks as she pulls me into a hug. "It's a long story," I say, trying to wait to say anything about Chicago until I can tell her and Dax at the same time. "Who's this?" She asks, gesturing to Brendon. "I'm Brendon, nice to meet you," he says, shaking her outstretched hand.

"Is there any room for us to stay here a while? We're gonna be in town a few days before heading back home." I tell Anaya. "Of course," she responds with a warm grin. Brendon and I grab our stuff and come inside.

I sit on the couch once we're in the house, because my back is still killing me from earlier today. I see two other people who I don't know getting food from the kitchen, but other than that the house is pretty empty.

"DAX, YOU HAVE COMPANY!" Anaya tells through the house. "Coming!" I hear his familiar voice yell back.

A few seconds later, I see Dax walk into the room. He sees Brendon first and looks a bit confused at who he's looking at, but then he sees me and runs over. I practically tackle him while giving him a hug. "Where the fuck have you been? It's been too long honey, I missed you like crazy," he says. Dax is one of those people that calls everyone "sweetie" or "honey" and he always makes you feel like a part of his family.

We settle down and Dax, Anaya, Brendon and I all sit on the couch.
"Seriously Ash, what happened? The last time I saw you was on your 16th birthday, which was like forever ago." I take a breath and begin to tell the story.

"I was dating this guy for a while, and things ended really poorly. I was drunk and a bit high one night, and accidentally set his house on fire. My parents found out and sent me to Illinois to live with my dad's god parents, and I met Brendon. But I found out a few days ago that the fire...it didn't just destroy the house. My ex was in the house and the fire took a huge toll on him. I didn't know how bad his body was taking the effects of it, but a couple days ago it killed him." I feel tears well up in my eyes now as I remember why I'm really here. I know I didn't kill Luke, or else I would be in jail, but it is my fault and I'll never be able to live that down. "I didn't mean to kill him. It was just an accident. A really terrible accident."

Dax wraps his arms around me again to comfort me. "It isn't your fault, Ash. We're here for you and we love you, and we're so glad you're back." I forgot just how much I missed home.