Supernatural: The Full First Season

Don't Let Me Drown

Sam took the car after I told him I wanted some time alone with Dean after what happened.

"Dean," I say, pulling his attention away from the TV. "I told you my story. I think it's time you tell me yours."

Dean looks up at looks up at me, "What?"

I look at him, "Your story." Dean looks uncomfortable. "I, um, I'm not ready," Dean looks away.

I sit down beside him on the bed and lay my hand on his thigh. He looks back at me. I place my hand on his cheek, "I wasn't, either."

Dean's head snaps up at that, "Oh, Ellie, I . . . I didn't know you thought of it that way."

"No, I was relieved once I told you. Which is why I feel you and I should talk a little about your past. I think you'll feel better once we have this talk. Especially because ghosts read emotions on hatred, spite, and sadness."

Dean sighs. He pets my hair, "I guess I owe it to you. OKay, where to start . . ." He looks down at his hands. "I'm either too quiet or too loud. I take things too seriously or not at all. I'm either too sensitive or cold hearted. I hate with every fiber of my being or love with every piece of my heart. And I love you. That's why I'll tell you."

I look up, "I love you, too, Dean."

Dean sighs, "I never had a childhood. I grew up too fast. Dad never remembered my birthday. And when he did, he was too busy. But that's not even the tip of the iceberg.

"Dad was known to leave abruptly on hunting trips. He would drop us off at a half-assed motel with some cash, a bit of food, and a warning to shoot first, ask questions later. And always look out for Sammy. No matter what. Sometimes he was gone longer than expected. The food and money would slowly run out. I was too young to work. I'd resort to shoplifting in order to get food. What little I could scrounge up, I would always give to Sammy, leaving the barest amount to myself. I know being a certain kind of hungry; the hungry where you haven't eaten in days. That's why I eat as much as I can manage, because I never knew when my next meal would be.

"The worst thing Dad ever did to me was make me practice being buried alive. Even when I wasn't ready. He wouldn't give me a break when I started having panic attacks. He'd tell me what to do and then throw me right in. He'd listen to me scream and say, 'Gotta learn to get yourself outta there, Dean. I won't always be there to do it for you.' And when I was suffocating, he'd pull me out, shake me off a little too hard, stare at the tears streaking my cheeks and shake his head, saying we'd do it again tomorrow. He'd walk away with disappointment in his eyes and ignore the nightmares I started having of me at the bottom of a grave with him throwing dirt on me, smiling like he was happy to be getting rid of such a disappointment."

Dean looks up, a broken look in his glassy eyes, "But at least I had Sammy. You know he used to call me Batman. I was his hero and Batman was his favorite superhero. Sam was afraid of the Joker because he looks like a clown. When he was little and couldn't sleep, I would tell him that I was Batman and I would protect him from the Joker."

The slight smile on his face disintegrates, "You wanna know the truth, Ellie?

"Yes," I coax him on, lovingly.

"I care too much. That's always been my greatest weakness. My attitude of arrogance and tactlessness was built over long exposure to constant worry, fear, and pressure. I grew up knowing there were monsters in the world and that every day, my dad would go out to hunt them. I had to worry every day that I might lose Dad like I lost Mom. That the demons might take him away. And it drove me crazy. Because there was nothing I could do to help. So I focused on the things I could do. Look after Sammy, be the good soldier, be responsible, be brave, be strong, fight, obey, don't let them see I'm scared, protect Sammy so he doesn't have to go through what I do. I am the misfit, the freak. I'm nothing special, nothing different. I'm worthless and pathetic. I'm worth more dead than alive."

My eyes widen when he says that and I struggle not to grab him and shake him and tell him it's not true. Instead, I just grab his face in my hands and look into his eyes.

"That's not true at all. You're not worthless. You're not pathetic. I swear, Dean, you mean the world to me. I love you more than anything. Never forget that. I don't know what I'd do without you," I whisper, caressing his cheek.

Our lips connect in a gentle kiss. I slide my hands up under his shirt as he does the same with my cami. Our lips break apart before coming back for more. Between kisses, Dean whispers, "You're right. I do feel better." I laugh gently before kissing him again.

He buries his face in my breasts as he squeezes my butt. He takes his hands and slides them down my pants, taking them off. He gropes at my thighs, rubbing dangerously close to my sex.

He bites my neck, fangs sinking in before attacking one of my breasts with his mouth. He swirls his tongue around my nipple while pinching the other. I moan as he takes his time with both.

Dean pulls my panties off and nibbles at the insides of my thighs before licking my clit. I moan as he massages my bud with his tongue.

He enters two fingers and I moan. When I begin to tighten around his thrusting digits, he slides out, before connecting his lips to my opening. He slithers his tongue in my wet hole. I grasp his hair and moan out his name, orgasming into his mouth.

He licks up my juices with a smirk. I shove him down onto the bed, ripping his boxers off. I take his erect cock into my hands, rubbing. He moans loudly as I connect my lips to his tip, tasting the precum. I set him in my mouth and start to bob my head. I take him as deep as I can before I choke.

"I'm cumming," he moans before releasing his white liquid into my mouth. I drink it up, a little running down my chin. I grin up at him before pushing him back down on the mattress.

His erect cock presses hard against my thigh as I come down over top of him. My hands slam down on his toned chest as I push his cock deep into my vagina. We both moan lustfully.

I lurch deep before lifting my hips and grinding back down on him. Dean reaches up and grabs my boobs with his large hands.

We thrust together as he reaches deeply into my body with his erect penis. I lean forward as he grips my butt. He takes my left nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. I groan with pleasure, forcing him deeper into me.

Our moans and our pleasure collide along with our lips as we ride out our orgasms. I collapse on top of him and run my hands through his hair. "I love you," I whisper.

"I love you, too," he sighs, rubbing my back. We kiss one last time before falling asleep.