WARNING: towards the end of this chapter, there is a scene where self harm is contemplated. if this is triggering to you, please skip over.
amber's pov:
I could feel my body begin to shut down. Panic and anxiety were taking over.
Flashbacks filled my mind, I couldn't see straight.
"Amber!" I heard someone call faintly.
I began to black out as I felt someone grab my arm and waist, and begin to pull me out into the parking lot.
I felt hands grip around my waist, and I was snatched from behind. A hand was placed over my mouth, and I kicked as I was carried into the backyard of one of my neighbors. I closed my eyes tightly as whoever was taking me dragged me into a storage shed, and before I knew it they were touching all over me.
I couldn't stop the flashbacks
I kept going in and out of consciousness as I felt myself being lifted and put into the front seat of a car.
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"Amber, wake up!" I heard a voice speak to me as I gained consciousness.
Slowly, I peeled open my eyes.
"Amber?" The voice said.
I suddenly remembered what had happened just moments before I lost consciousness.
I closed my eyes tight and covered them up with my hands.
"Leave me alone!" I manage to yell.
I felt my arm being pulled away from my face, and I quickly yanked back, keeping my eyes shut. I didn't want to see his face, his eyes.
"Amber move your hands and open you eyes."
The voice sounded different. It didn't sound like Christian.
I shook my head and said, "No, just stop."
"Everything is okay now, it's Ethan just open your eyes."
Ethan.
"Where's Grayson?" I ask, keeping my eyes covered.
"He's on his way. Will you please just open your eyes?"
That was always the hard part. Opening my eyes.
I took a deep breath, and put my hands in my lap as I opened my eyes.
"You made a deal with him so you could get some money! Why would you do that Ethan?" I yell looking out the window, avoiding all eye contact.
"Amber I didn't know. I'm sorry."
I watched Grayson speed into the parking lot, and once he parked, I got out of Ethan's car, and ran up to Grayson.
He caught me in his arms, and rocked me back in forth as I let out a couple tears.
"Amber, are you okay?" He asked pulling away from the hug.
"Not really, I need to go home."
"Okay I'll take you to your grandmothers. Calm down baby."
"No, I don't want to be alone."
"Okay, we'll figure that out in a bit. I just need to make sure you're okay right now."
"W-where's Christian?" I ask hesitantly.
"Don't worry, the cops have got him."
I nodded my head giving him assurance that I was somewhat okay.
I was just very shaken up.
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I couldn't let Grayson see me like this. But I couldn't hold it in for much longer. I had so much pain hurting me inside, I had to relieve this urge.
"I'm going to go take a bath upstairs in your bathroom if that's okay." I say getting up from the couch.
"Okay, that's fine. You can go get the bubble bath stuff, you know where it is."
I walked up the stairs, anxiously.
Once I got to Grayson's room, I looked in his top drawer of his dresser, and picked out one of his pocket knives.
Was I really about to do this?
Walking into the bathroom, I shut the door behind me, and neglected the bath. Instead, I took off my shorts, and sat down on the cold tile floor.
I looked down at my scars, I had been clean for so long.
I took a deep breath, and fixed the knife how I wanted it. I eyeballed it as I took it closer to my thigh.
I couldn't do it.
I was so happy with Grayson, this would just make him sad. And I didn't like seeing him sad. I wasn't depressed. I didn't have a reason to do it.
I couldn't bring myself to take the blade to my skin, and to pierce the flesh, I just couldn't.
I had came so far, so clean.
I folded the knife back up, and put it on top of the vanity.
I guess I'll actually take a nice bubble bath.
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After I got out of the bathtub, I found Grayson asleep on his bed. He looked so good.
I changed into my pajamas, and quietly laid down next to him.
I turned to my side as I looked at him. I admired every feature. The way he had his face smushed against his arm, was adorable.
I guess I woke him up moving around, because his eyes suddenly peeled open. He smiled, and I leaned over to kiss his cheek.
As my lips touched his cheek, he turned his head, cupped my cheek, and pressed his lips against mine passionately. Never have I ever, felt so wanted.
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