Little Talks ☇ C. Evans

151. a second chance (bonus chapter!!!)

Poppy held a crumpled, white sheet of paper in her shaking hands, a tear threatening to fall from her blue eyes and smudge the ink of the handwriting messily scribbled in lines across the page.

Just moments earlier, Chris had been there, but she'd just missed him. He'd taped the letter to the cherry red door of the Greenwich Village apartment that she'd been residing in still, even two years after their last encounter with one another.

The blonde glanced around in search of the anonymous author of the letter, though no one was near. She knew that handwriting anywhere, though. She didn't have to see him to confirm that it was indeed Chris who had placed the letter on her door.

By the looks of it, he'd bawled it up once or twice. The paper was thin in some places, wrinkled in others. The handwriting was messier than she remembered it, but she knew it was his. Part of her wanted to believe that his handwriting was shaky because he had attempted to write the letter countless times causing his hand to grow tired.

Deep down she knew that wasn't the case, and the contents of the letter only confirmed it.

Pop-tart,

It's been a long time. Too long. I know that's mostly my fault.

Okay, it's all my fault.

There's nothing I regret more than losing you. I've had my heart broken several times, but this is the first I've ever experienced heartbreak because of my own actions. I pushed you away for reasons you still do not know to this day. Somehow, I think you'll overlook the past two and a half years of not speaking to me in order to continue reading this. I want you to know the truth, now. Even if it is too late to earn your forgiveness.

I went against Doctor's orders and I flushed all my pills. Each and every anxiety medication I was ever prescribed. . .gone. I convinced myself (and Sebastian) that I did this because the meds made it too difficult to focus on my work. That was only half-true.

This is so difficult for me to put into words. I know nothing I write will make sense, but just understand that my logic was disoriented back then. There were things going on that even I didn't understand. The Doctor had upped my dosages and the pills were changing me—consuming me.

All I know is that I wanted you. I wanted to propose. I had it all planned before the movie deal began to drive us apart. Then the arguments started happening and I knew I was irritable because of my meds. I decided to wean myself off of the pills before asking you to marry me. Bad idea. I should've taken the chance and asked you anyways. I just wanted to be myself when it happened, not the medicated, foggy-minded man the pills made me.

Since we broke up, I've been on and off with medications. Sometimes I take them, sometimes I don't. It's been four months since I last took them, hence why my handwriting is shaky. I'm surprised I even had the balls to write this without being under the influence of some kind of pill meant to calm my nerves. I guess it means I still care for you, huh? Of course I do.

So, no, this isn't me asking you to marry me in a letter, though Sebastian and Anthony spent days convincing me that if I were a true romantic, I'd do it. What do they know anyways?

All I'm asking is for a second chance. . .a date. I want to see you, to hear your voice. . .I really miss our little talks. I miss you.

P.S. I thought the Russos were crazy to leave you out of Civil War. . .then they explained the big plans they have for your stand-alone film. Maybe I'll make a cameo. Us Captains have to stick together, right?

Poppy made a pointless attempt to wipe away her tears, a small smile breaking out across her face as she reached the end of the letter. Even after all this time, through the heartbreak and loneliness, he could still make her laugh.

She stood like that for a while, reading his words over and over again, trying to make sense of it all. This letter was something she wasn't sure she really needed until now. Yes, she'd wanted closure, but this wasn't that. This was an apology, but also an opportunity. He wanted to make things right.

Just as she put her key in the lock on the door and twisted it, she heard footsteps behind her. The steps were too heavy to be her petite neighbor, Mrs. Wilhelm, and since she lived in the end apartment, no one else would come down this far.

Daring herself to turn around, Poppy's eyes met those crystal clear, baby blues that she never stopped thinking of after all the months and years that had passed since their last face-to-face encounter. His lips were pursed, his scruff and hair damp from the light mist in the air. His eyebrows were pulled together, as if awaiting for her to either smile or frown.

Chris was only a few feet away from her for the first time in what felt like forever, and in that moment; there was nothing in the world that could keep her apart from him.

Rushing to him, she found herself in his tight embrace. She never knew such an innocent hug could make her feel so much. All the memories, all the laughs, all the sadness, and all the longing she'd ever felt hit her at once, and she held him even tighter in her arms.

Chris let out a chuckle into her soft hair, his hands gripping her back as if she could disappear at any moment. He'd left her go all those years ago and he wouldn't do it again, and he loved her too much let her go now.

"Does this mean you missed me, too, Pop-tart?"

_____

Read everything below this because I have mega-super-totally important stuff to say...kinda. Just read it, please. If you want. No pressure. 😉

Uhhhh???? I got emotional writing this. I hope you guys still have this story in your libraries because I'm pretty sure you probably didn't know you needed this bonus chapter until now.

Sadly, this is the end. If you didn't see the author's note on my message board or in "Little Things," then I'll just tell you here. I unpublished what little of the sequel I had written, and I will be taking down the story after more people have seen the author's note. I explained in more detail there that I just don't enjoy writing it the social media style anymore and I don't like writing "cast" fanfics now. I also felt unmotivated to complete the sequel and I know my lack of motivation was affecting the quality of what I was publishing. I'm so sorry to those who read/were going to read it.

I love you all and hope this bonus chapter gave you the happy ending you (and Poppy and Chris) deserved.

ALSO, THANKS FOR 500K READS ON THIS STORY. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ENJOYED IT. LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU GUYS. YOUR COMMENTS ALWAYS CHEER ME UP. LET ME KNOW HOW YOUR HOLIDAY BREAK WAS. LET'S CHAT.

ALSO, IF YOU WANT, COMMENT YOUR INSTAGRAM USERNAME AND I'LL FOLLOW YOU. I LOVE KEEPING UP WITH YOU GUYS; I FEEL LIKE WE'RE ALREADY FRIENDS. ❤️ (all I ask is that no one publicly comments on my photos about Wattpad because this part of my life is a secret aside from a few of my closest friends. I know a lot of you probably understand and might even be the same way.)
— Mar