Running from the Sunrise ||#Wattys2017

Chapter One

I awoke from a dream that has occurred almost every time I closed my eyes to at least attempt to sleep for the past six months. The only reason I woke up before it got very vivid and would cause me even more despair was because my alarm clock went off. That was my signal that it was time to get ready to head to school which was getting harder everyday since the night of the fatal accident.

I was lucky to make it out alive. I was in the hospital for a week before I even woke up and when I did wake up my whole life had changed. I was an orphan and the only person that was left to take care of me was my mother's sister I would have preferred anyone but her, sometimes she could be harsh. It wasn't that I hated my aunt it was the fact that I had awoken without my parents. A wave of despair had washed over me. The feeling without them there to hold me while I was being treated in the hospital, all I wanted to do at that moment was to die.

They had died, so why did I deserve to live? The whole accident was my fault, if only I didn't attend my winter formal. But of course I had to go, I was a junior in high school it was my purpose to go to dances and parties. Then after I was hungry so my parents offered to stop by McDonald's so of course I accepted, who wouldn't when they were starving.

I remained in the hospital for observation a few days after I woke up. The doctors wanted to be sure there wasn't any more damage than what they had already seen. Which was my broken arm, and a few broken ribs, also that I was practically in a coma for a week. I always wanted to be a doctor, not so much now because of the mental problems I've had since the accident. Nobody knows about these problems except for my friends. They thought they could make it better but to be honest I have completely shut down since the car crash. I made sure not to feel anything the only place I ever went was to school and then back home. The only thing I ever did feel was pain.

I hated myself now. No one knew how many times that I thought about killing myself and ending all the pain. Pain, pain, pain that was the only emotion I ever experienced anymore. I'm so broken inside, no one else seems to see it not even my own aunt. I glanced at my phone it was now 6:39   "Crap." I muttered to myself.
It was time to take a shower and get dressed for school I couldn't be late again. I quickly took a hot shower and threw on a white t-shirt, ripped black jeans and my new black vans. Then I quickly put on my navy blue hood from Hollister. Then I walked into the kitchen.

Everyday before I left for school I spiked a water battle with a little of my aunts vodka not enough to make me drunk just enough to make me a bit tipsy, but today I added a little extra because I was in one of my moods, not like she would care, she is at work at this time everyday so she doesn't know. No one knows about it, only me, in the past six months I had developed an addiction to alcohol. I hate to admit it but it makes it easier for me to be able to shut everyone out. That is how I liked it... I needed to be sure no one could ever get inside my head.