"You are pregnant," she announced. My stomach dropped.
"What?" I whispered.
"You're pregnant. I'm guessing that isn't what you wanted to hear. There are options, there is adoption, keeping the baby, and of course abortion. Which of these sounds like the best option to you?" She sat across from me.
"How far along am I?" It might be Rafael's but in the back of my mind, I know it's not.
"Three weeks," she spoke softly. Oh my god Rafael's dad got me pregnant. There's no way it could've been him. "Do you know what option you'd like to go with?"
"I'm pregnant by my rapist's baby. I think I would like to get an abortion," I snapped. "I'm sorry. That was rude. But I know I would like an abortion. When can I make the appointment?"
"We should at least talk through-"
"I'm begging you, please, please just let me do this. When can I set up this appointment?" I was on the verge of tears.
"Let's see," she turned to the computer. We got an appointment set up and someone needs to come with me.
I got into the car and started hysterically crying. My rapist got me pregnant. My rapist made me enjoy it and got me pregnant because of it.
There is something trying to grow inside of me that my rapist put there. If I don't get rid of it soon enough, it'll be like he's touching me everyday. Apart of me will always think of him if I have this child. I can't have this child because I will hate it.
Why do I want to have kids? Why do I want to have them when I know they are going to get hurt. I can't protect them from all the bad things in the world. They will get hurt and I can't protect them.
How the hell am I going to tell Rafael? God will he leave me, or hate me? Will he want to raise this baby no matter what? What the hell is going to happen?
I got home feeling numb. It took every thing in me to get out of the car and into my apartment.
I got inside, needing to curl up on the floor and cry.
"Hola Tesoro." Rafael strutted in. I glanced at him for a moment, yearning to let it all out, but I can't put that on his shoulders.
"Hi," I whispered.
"Hi, how did it go? Is something wrong?" He stepped closer to me.
"I'm- uh- I'm pregnant," I choked out the words.
"I take it the baby isn't mine?" His face was pained.
"No it's not. It's his baby," I started crying. He held me close.
"Shh Cola, it's okay. Breathe. I'm with you every step of the way. What do you want to do?" He rubbed my back.
"I scheduled to have an abortion. I cannot keep it. I have to get rid of it " I pulled away.
"When is it? Do you want me there?"
"If you can be there, I would love that. I need you," I admitted. "It's two days from now," I went into my room.
"Colie-" I shut the door in his face. I locked the door to the bathroom and started the shower.
