"We need to talk. I might know why you feel weird kissing Josh now."
I give him a confused look and say," What? How would you know?"
"Let's go inside and to your room. I'll explain there."
I nod and get out of his car. We both walk inside my house and up to my room. I sit on my bed and he starts pacing.
After watching him walk back and forth for a good 5 minutes I say," Can you tell me now?"
He stops and nods.
"What all do you remember from the closet?"
"Honestly, I just remember walking in it. The rest is a blur."
He sits down beside me and sighs," I'm going to tell you what I told you then but this time you're sober so it makes it a littler harder."
"You can tell me anything."
"OkaysoIlikeyouwellnoImightbeinlovewithyouandwekissedthatnightinthecloset."
"Woah what? Slow down and tell me again."
"Okay so I like you. I might even be in love with you and we kissed that night in the closet."
So that's why I feel weird kissing Josh now but how I feel the about Connor? Do I like Connor? Maybe the weird feeling is because I need to stop whatever I have with Josh or maybe it's because I do indeed like Connor back. I guess there's only one way to find out.
"Connor, kiss me again."
"What?"
"Kiss me again. I need to know something."
"Okay."
He leans in and kisses me. It's full of love and passion unlike Josh's kisses which are full of lust and desire. There are butterflies in my stomach. I kiss back and I don't want to stop.
5 minutes later, he pulls away and rest his forehead against mine. I lean back so I can see his face. He smiles and I smile back.
"Do you have your answer now?"
"I think so."
He puts his hand on my face and smiles again. I smile back and kiss his cheek.
"I need to make sure though."
"Okay you do what you need to do and let me know."
I nod and stand up. This is probably a bad idea but I need to know for sure. There's only one way to do that even if I don't want to.
"Will you take me to Josh's?"
"Yeah, sure."
We pull into Josh's driveway and I sigh.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Yeah. I need to know for sure."
"Okay. Call me if you need a ride home."
"Okay, thank you."
He smiles at me and I get out. He drives away and I walk up to the front door. I ring the doorbell twice then wait.
The door opens and there he is, in just his boxers. I stare at his half naked body in awe. I hear him chuckle and I look back up at his face.
"Katie, I wasn't expecting to see you."
"I was planning on coming. Can I come in?"
"Of course."
He moves out of the way and I walk in. I follow him into the living room and we sit on the couch.
"So, what brings you here?"
"I need to figure something out."
He raises his eyebrows and says," And that would be?"
I kiss him and not even a minute later he kisses back. It's still full of lust and desire. I should pull away because I know who I should be with now but I don't want to stop. There's this stirring feeling in my stomach and I want more. He pushes me back and gets on top of me. He deepens the kiss. I should pull away now but I don't want to.
He breaks the kiss long enough to pull off my and his shirt. He undoes my pants and pulls them off. I help him take off his pants. We help each other undress.
(Authors Note: You guys know what happens next.)
I look over at Josh. He's sound asleep with his arms around me. I know what we did was wrong but I wanted to do it.
I start to fall asleep when a name pops into my mind.
Connor.
Why didn't I think about how he would feel before doing this? I'm so stupid. I slowly remove Josh's arms and get off the couch. I get dressed and hurry out of the house. I can't call Conner, he'll know something is up. I guess I'm going to have to walk. I sigh and start my long walk.
I open my front door and walk upstairs to my room. I strip out of my clothes and walk into my bathroom. I take a quick shower then put my pjs on. I crawl into my bed and lay on back. As I stare at my ceiling, I realize how stupid I am for doing that. He probably won't even talk to me now. God, I'm so stupid.
I know Connor has every right to know but he can't. It would hurt him so much and I don't want to do that. He can't know and that's that. I just hope Josh doesn't tell him.
***
I wake up to yelling. It must be my parents. That's all they do when they're home. I groan and get out of bed. I walk down stairs and the yelling is louder. I walk into the kitchen and see my mom yelling at my dad. My dad looks terrible and smells even worse. He smells like booze and cheap perfume.
Cheap perfume.
Oh my god. He is cheating on her!
I feel something grab my leg and I look down to see Beth, crying. I pick her up and carry her up to my room. I hold her in my arms and whisper soothing words to calm her down.
About an hour later, the yelling stops and Beth is asleep. I carry her to her room and lay her on her bed. I kiss her cheek before walking downstairs. The door slams and I hear crying coming from the living room. I walk in there and see my mom siting on the couch, crying. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her.
"H-he... ch-cheated."
"Shh mom, it's okay. Everything will be okay."
"Why would he do that to us? Why would he do that to me?"
"I don't know. It's going to be okay."
I get her to calm down. I go to the kitchen and pour her a cup of coffee. I add all the creamer and stuff she likes then take it to her. She mumbles a thank you. I walk back up stairs and lay on bed. I check the time, it's 10 am. Too late to go to school now. I cover up and try to fall asleep.
