Identity || Larry Stylinson (A.U)

t h i r t y - e i g h t

Harry's POV

A few months it's been. It's not like I've been counting. I just assume it has been 9 months 21 days and 6 hours, since Louis last talked to me. Screw it, I've been counting... by the hour.

And I know I sound crazy, but I miss him like hell. I tried to talk to him for about 2 months after him figuring it all out, but he never replied. 9 months later, we're both in college and I haven't seen him in so many months, but I still love him. I've tried to get over him so many times but it never works.

Because of it, my grades have gone down dramatically. I'm slowly rebounding from it at first, considering that if I don't do well enough, I can get kicked out. I went from a 76% to nearly a 90% in the past few months.

I like to think I'm moving on. I mean, I guess I am. Louis was just a high school love, it was never going to last. I try to tell myself that but it never works.

College, life and physically, I'm going well, but emotionally, I'm just as broken as I was when I saw his face for the last time.

Speaking of life, I'm currently waiting in line to audition for X Factor. I know, X Factor.

I'm going to go on there and perform in front hundreds of people all alone. The thought is way too scary, but I'm doing it for my mum. So that at least one person will be proud of me.

I heard that Zayn, my old neighbour who just released an album, if you forgot, is going to be there judging, which gave me a bit of confidence, because he'd probably be a bit nicer on me.

Just when I'm caught in my thoughts, I hear my name being called over the loudspeaker. I take a deep breath, hands slightly shaking.

My heart is racing its own race and I feel like I'm just going to melt into a puddle on the stage. But I'm not going to do that.

I'm going to step on that stage and sing my best, for my mum.

I keep telling myself this motivation is from trying to impress my mum, but I know deep inside, I'm trying to get back at Louis. Trying to show him what he's missed out on and show him I'm moving on, even though I'm not.

I walk onto the stage and shake off any nerves I have off my face, even though I'm dying inside, and try to appear confident.

"Oh my god Harry!" Zayn says excitedly when he sees me, waving at me. I smile back, remembering how we used to hang out in the park sometimes or play water fights in my backyard.

"It's been a while." I reply, a slight chuckle in my voice.

"So Harry, tell us about yourself." Simon Cowell asks, looking up from his paper and interrupting the slightly awkward moment.

Shit, what do I say.

Oh yeah! Bakery!

"Well, I'm Harry Styles. I'm nearly 18 years old and I work in a bakery." I say, not knowing what else they want from me.

"So do you think you've got the X Factor?" Louis Walsh says from beside Simon. Uh, the name Louis is always a trigger, I swear to god.

"Well, I like to think I do, but that's really up to you guys. I just really hope I have what it takes to win." I reply nervously, mentally punching myself for appearing not confident at all and awkward.

"Well, let's see. Start whenever you're ready." Simon says and I take a deep breath, really taking in the amount of people actually here, watching me sing.

"Isn't she lovely, isn't she wonderful

Isn't she precious, less than one minute old." I begin, singing the notes to Stevie Wonder's 'Isn't she lovely.'

I finish off the 1 minute audition and wait for the judges response, not expecting the amount of enthusiasm and claps from the audience. I smile and look hopefully at the judges.

"Zayn?" Simon asks and I turn to Zayn.

"Harry, my man. You did well up there. I think a few vocal lessons and you'd be absolutely spectacular, so it's a yes." Zayn says and I smile wider, spotting my mum in the audience, waving and clapping her head off.

I chuckle at her actions and turn to face Louis Walsh. "I agree with Zayn, you have great talent and the charisma is there. I'm saying yes too."

"Look Harry. You've got potential. I would normally say no and tell you to come back next year after a bit of training, but the way the audience reacted, I think you may have great potential as an artist so I'm going to say a yes too." Simon says.

I cover my mouth when I see I got 3 yes' and thank them so much for it. I walk off stage and can't believe my luck.

I just got 3 of the judges to say yes. All of them.

Wow, I did not expect that.

On the side of stage, Gemma waits for me, arms out, as she embraces me into a hug. I missed her a lot, we don't hang out as much since we both go to university now.

"I'm so proud of you." She says, ruffling my hair. I smile as we walk out of the building, collecting the next performance details.

I know it's wrong but I can't help thinking what Louis would think if he saw. I can't help but laugh evilly when I imagine rubbing the victory in his face.

But then my mind wanders off to think about what if he was there in the audience and we had never broken up. I imagine him standing on the side with Gemma, kissing me as I came off in victory.

That's when I realise that I should at just admit it.

After nearly a year, I'm still not over Louis Tomlinson.

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only one more chapter then SEQUEL!!!!