SAMCRO Girl

Funeral

We pulled up to the church and everyone parked up and started to enter the church. Everyone was walking in, I felt like I couldn't bring myself to enter, I knew that I was going to have to say goodbye but I felt that I needed a few more minutes before I headed in. As the last of the guests got seated I felt a hand on my shoulder, I spun around, becoming face to face with Juice
"You gon' come in?" He asked as I squeezed his hand and nodded
"Don't leave me juice" I practically cried, I needed him more than anything, he smiled at me and planted a kiss on my cheek his face lingering in close proximity to mine for an extra couple of seconds
"Let's do this" he pulled himself away and placed a strand of hair behind my ear "together" he placed his arm around my waist and walked through the church until we got to the first pew where we sat down and Clay signalled for the minister to start the ceremony.

The room was flooded with the words of the minister, his words raced through my head, I heard every single word but failed to understand, it was all a blurry picture, it wasn't until Juice patted my arm that I realised it was time for me to deliver my speech. I was only say a mere few metres from the front of the church but it felt like miles, every step i took I felt as though i was falling deeper in to the ground. I got up to the microphone and looked around, I saw Chibs staring at me concerned as well as Jax they were all worried that I would break, I didn't blame them. Deciding to begin my speech I took a deep breath
"Thank you!" I began "I was a mother for three months, only two of those months were spent with my child, but those two months will forever be treasured" I started looking around at my mum, eyes red from all the tears that had been shed "Sophia-Ashlee was my unforeseen miracle, my saving grace. She became that small light at the end of a never ending dark tunnel, it was her that led me to making the decision to return to charming and be reunited with my family" I said smiling at the first few rows of people "my sole aim was to protect her, and though I failed my goal, I pray only that her father can do better for her beyond the grave, as no matter the feud between mother and father there was an undeniable love for his unborn daughter" tears began spilling out of my eyes uncontrollably "I...I love my daughter with all my heart and I thank each and everyone of you for showing her that her name will forever be remembered, rest in peace Sophia-Ashlee" I quickly stumbled down from the microphone stand and sat down next to Juice immediately burying my face in his chest, sobbing as he held me and repeatedly pecked the top of my head. The rest of the service was quick and finished promptly followed by the burial, I decided to stay by her grave for a few extra minutes I heard footsteps behind me and was met by Clay
"Clay!" I said as he looked up at me "I can't live everyday thinking about what could have been, Those scumbag Assholes took my husband and my daughter" I said anger building inside of me
"And I am going to make each and every one of them pay for that Olivia" he said sternly as I nodded
"I know you are, but I made a promise that day that I got out the hospital, I said I would work with the club, yeah Ma' said not doing dangerous shit but I have nothing to live for anymore..." I was cut off promptly by Clay
"You have your family to live for, Juice loves you" I listened to him and agreed, my heart yearned slightly for Juice when He said that he loved me, but it didn't change my mind
"That doesn't change it Clay, I'm going all in for the club, from here on out, like I used to do, I need something to do and your gonna let me do it" I said suddenly taking the role of an alpha, he stared at me for a few seconds before shaking his head
"Fine, I'll get you back full swing, but you let us help you and protect you, you don't get to get yourself killed" he said as sternly as I had come across a few seconds ago, I nodded and agreed before blowing a kiss to Sophia's head stone and heading towards the club house where the wake was being held.
I stumbled into the club house and saw members and there families chatting and drinking beers. There was no doubt that I felt empty but there was something about my family that filled some of the emptiness. I scanned the room looking for Juice but failed to spot him, Jax came charging towards me after having a discussion with Clay
"Livvy have you thought this through?" He questioned me, Clay had wasted no time in telling Jax my plans.
" I want to do it Jax" I said as I saw his face grow angrier
"Your my baby sister and I don't want you getting hurt" he said "you lost the best thing in your life, you can't just..."
"I can and I am Jax" I said cutting him off promptly
Jax looked at me, sorrow filled his eyes, he could tell that the one thing that i had that kept me from crossing to the dark side died when Soph died and he knew that standing in the way of my revenge would just end badly for him so he agreed
"If you think you can handle it then fine, but dont think for one second that there wont be protection on you at all times" i half smiled that he finally understood where i was coming from, as i stood next to Jax my eyes darted around the room looking for Juice which was clearly noted by my brother "he's gone outside, go find him" he said, laying a hand on my shoulder as i walked towards the doors.

Once i got to the parking lot i scoured round until my eyes landed on him, the sun was in perfect position making him look like some sort of saint, i slowly walked towards him, my stomach had butterflies as if i was a school girl again and i was having to remind myself to put my foot infront of the other, like it was a chore. AS i approached him he looked up, his eyes were full of sorrow like they had been for the past few months
"The day you came back, i had gone into town, so i didnt know you were back" he said as i took a seat on the bench next to him "i came back as the commotion had died down" he began telling me the story.