Of Monsters and Men (yuri x otabek)

Distance

A/N: Hey everyone, I just wanted to thank you for almost 800 reads on this story! That's incredible! I didn't think I would get this far, but with some much appreciated help I did and I couldn't be more grateful! Thanks for all of the comments and votes too, they make me so happy to see :) I hope you all enjoy this chapter! <3

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To not feel pain, you have to distance yourself from the source of the pain.

That's exactly what I did after I said goodbye to him. I distanced myself from Otabek, buried myself deeper into my skating, worked hard non-stop, made sure that I didn't get distracted again. But distancing myself from him also meant distancing myself from Mila as well. I avoided her, tried not to talk to her too much. It was hard at first, but eventually I got used to it; because it was for the best in the end.

Otabek hasn't tried to get closer to me either, I think he knows that I need my space. I mean, I hope he does at least. He's a distraction, I can't have any distractions right now.

It's been about a month since I stopped talking to him, I only really hang around Anja now, not that I want to, but because she won't leave me alone. I don't mind her too much, even though she's annoying sometimes, I guess it's nice to have some company while skating. She's also taught me a few things too, I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but she's actually really cool. I don't mind her because she doesn't cause me pain. Even though she was suspicious as to why I was avoiding Mila and Otabek at first, she eventually let it go and stopped talking about it. She accepted my decisions, and I respect her for that.

Practice goes on longer than usual today, we're all trying to polish up a few of our moves. When it ends, I stay on the ice for a little bit longer, trying to help Anja perfect her toe loops. She's been struggling for a while, I thought I could do something nice and help her out since she's done a lot for me.

"Ugh, I'm never gonna get this." She groans, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand tiredly.

"Hey, you're doing a lot better than you were before so be happy about that at least." I smile.

"Yeah I guess you're right...Thank you so much for helping me out by the way, you're awesome." She gives me a thumbs up.

I look at her hand for a while. A thumbs up huh? Haven't seen one of those in a while...

"Hey Yuri! Anja!" Mila's voice calls from across the ice. She's skating over. "Otabek and I are going out to catch a movie, do you guys wanna come? We haven't hung out in forever," She slugs Anja lightly in the arm, who then smiles and glances nervously at me.

I take a quick swig of water. "Sorry, but I have to get home soon."

Mila frowns. "Oh come on Yuri, you and I haven't even had a legitimate conversation in over a month! You're always so busy doing something, just come this once pleeease?"

"No, I don't feel like going to the movies, sorry."

"OK, then let's do something else-"

"I said no alright? Are you deaf or something?" I snap.

It falls silent, I see a few people glance over from outside the rink, including Otabek.

"You know," Mila starts, "you've been, like, avoiding me for such a long time now and I don't understand why. Did I do something wrong to you?"

"No-"

"Then why are you acting like such an ass hole these days! Not only am I your friend, but I'm your teammate Yuri! You shouldn't be treating me like a piece of shit!" She shouts.

God, I don't want to argue with her right now. I could never tell her why I've been avoiding her, so what's the point of even wasting my breath? There isn't one, this is so pointless. I don't need this kind of bullshit in my life, I don't care about any of this. "I just want you to leave me alone alright? Is that too much to ask?"

She gives me a desperate look. "But why?"

"Because you're annoying OK? Just get the hell out my face!" How can I even be in the same room as the person who is going to marry the guy that I'm in love with? It's so stressful and suffocating, I hate every second of it! She's so stupid, if I'm trying to stay away from her why is she even making an effort to be around me? Can she not tell that I don't want to be near her right now? It's pissing me off!

I'm being so selfish, but I can't help it-just looking at her makes me angry.

Otabek skates over then, putting a hand protectively on Mila's shoulder. I glare at him. "What's going on here?" He asks seriously.

"Nothing." I hiss.

He gives me that stupid concerned look. Mila shakes her head. "I don't get what any of this means Yuri, you just don't want to be friends with me anymore is that it?"

I cross my arms and look down at the ice. That's the only way she'll stay away from me right? That's the only way we all won't get hurt; it's the the right thing to do isn't it? "Yeah."

Her face falls. "S-So you won't come to my wedding?"

That question pierces me through the heart. I wince, why did she have to ask me that? "No." I'm too afraid to even see what Otabek's expression is right now.

I feel Anja tug timidly at my arm. "Hey, don't you think that's a bit unfair Yuri?" She whispers to me.

I move away from her. "It's my fucking decision, not anyone else's, I'll decide if it's unfair or not." I just want to get out of here, I feel like I'm drowning. "Excuse me," I try to move past them but Otabek grabs my arm, his grip is tight.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Huh?

"Why are you treating the people that care about you like they're a problem? Anja is right, you're being unfair. Just because something is bothering you, doesn't mean that you should turn your anger onto others. You may think that what you're doing is right, but it isn't in any way. I know you're better than this Yuri, stop acting so foolish-"

My hand moves on it's own and I punch him hard in the face, knocking him backwards. This fucking jackass! How can he just stand here and tell me this bullshit! Doesn't he understand that I'm doing this for him! I'm doing all of this for him so that he can be happy! Why doesn't anyone understand! I don't do the things that I do for myself, I don't put myself through all of this pain for nothing! Since day one I've been struggling, I've been fighting to make the people around me happy! I thought he of all people knew that! He said I was a soldier, a knight, I was someone that fought for what he loved! So why? Why can't he see that I'm still fighting? Why can't he see that I'm tired? I-I thought that he did, I thought that he saw right through me!

B-But, why did I expect so much from him?

I collapse onto my knees and bury my face into my hands.

Because, out of everyone, he was the one person that understood me the most; even when I didn't understand myself.

"Yuri," I feel someone's hand on my shoulder then. "Let's go OK? I'll walk you home." It's Anja.

I don't even have the strength to stand up.

"Take my hand, let's go."

I move my hands away from my face and look up at her, she's smiling at me, even after all this. Her hand is reached out towards me, I take it slowly and somehow manage to pick myself up.

"Otabek! Are you alright? What the hell is going on!" People start rushing over to him. He's sitting, holding onto his nose, staring up at me with a shocked look on his face. Mila has the same look, but her eyes are sadder.

"Where's Yakov?"

"Yuri, what the hell is your problem?" Someone spits at me.

"I thought he changed but I guess he's still an ass."

Anja squeezes my hand. "Don't listen to them."

I nod and we skate off together. It feels wrong to just leave them behind like this; but doesn't everything feel wrong now?

Nothing will ever be the same.