Of Monsters and Men (yuri x otabek)

Mila

A/N: This is pretty much an extra chapter, I was always contemplating putting her POV in but I never did, and then someone suggested it in the comments and I decided that it would be a good idea. Hope you enjoy!

**

Skating has always been an escape for me. 

But only a temporary one. 

I suffered in silence, hid my feelings well, smiled when I was sad, laughed when I wanted to cry. I watched the people around me closely, saw them being genuinely happy. I always wondered how they could be so sincere. How they weren't suffering; how could they be so happy? 

Even when I felt I was doing my best, I was still at my worst. Woke up everyday, thinking this day would be better than the last, but it never was. It always ended with me feeling lost, sad, and confused. Always down, just felt like I was in the dark, and I never knew why. 

Everyone was so ahead of me, happy, smiling, succeeding, and I felt like I was going nowhere. Felt like everything was just repeating constantly over and over again, nothing new, nothing different, just that same sudden sadness and depression, over and over and over...

It was getting tiring, lonely, stressful...

Then I saw Otabek. 

I watched him with Yuri at the GPF's, cheering him on, watching him with admiration in his eyes. He wasn't even looking at me; but I was flattered. I kept wondering, how would it feel if I was the one he was looking at? I wanted to know so badly, but I decided to push my curiosity away. Forced myself to believe he would never look at me, he would never care about me. Just forget about him. 

No one will ever care about you. 

I'd been through this before. This feeling of being crushed, like something has been ripped away. It always happened to me, so I just accepted it. I let it go. 

But, for once in my life; it came back. I got a second chance, an opportunity. 

"Hi, you're Mila right?"

"Yeah. Oh, I recognize you, Otabek?"

Except-

"Yeah, um, Yuri, he talked a lot about you."

Oh.

"Um, how's he doing by the way? He's OK right? Sorry, I know this is random, but, I just haven't seen him in a while and I figured you might know since you're teammates." 

I get it. 

I always knew it. 

But, he was right in front of me, all I had to do was reach out to him, I just needed to get a little bit closer-

I put my hand on his arm. He glanced down at it blankly. 

"Yuri's doing alright, nothing's really happened with him," I smiled sweetly, "but how are you doing Otabek?"

I got him. 

He was mine, finally.

Someone was going to want me, someone was going to stay with me. I had someone that could make this pain go away. The way he touched me, kissed me, held me. I kept asking myself; he's in love with me right? Why, why did I have to ask myself that question? Shouldn't I have known? I should have known shouldn't I? 

I did.

"Otabek, do you love me?" I asked him one night. Just to be sure, to confirm what I already knew was wrong.