Vampire academy - blood spell

Lissa's POV

The last few weeks without Rose have been the hardest weeks of my life. Even when my family died, I at least had someone who experienced it with me, someone I could talk to. I have Christian but at the moment, I feel kind of distant to everyone else. I don't know but without Rose it's like I can't connect with anyone any more. My counsellor says that's just part of the grieving process but part of me feels lost and completely alone. Rose was suppose to be my guardian when we graduate. That was how it always was suppose to be. She was suppose to be here, walking right beside me. Now it's just Dimitri. I wonder how he feels about this. I saw him at the funeral in the very back corner of the church. He didn't come say anything to me and I didn't see him talk to anyone else either which was weird. Part of me feels like he should be hurting more. Well I think everyone should be grieving over Rose more but Dimitri was her mentor, her future partner. Surely he should feel worse than what he seems to be feeling. And in that second I knew what I needed to do. It's wrong and I know if Rose was here she would have scolded me for it even crossing my mind but I need to know. Next time I see him, I'm going to use compulsion to find exactly how he really feels.

A few days later when I was on my way back to my dorm I saw Dimitri. This was my chance. Calling out I ran as fast as I could go catch up. We talked and he asked me how I was going and when I thought it was the right time, I asked him about Rose and how I figured he must be hurting too. Using a little bit of compulsion, I figured he would tell me exactly how he felt but that's not what happened. His guard fell and that's when I saw it. All the pain and grief he was feeling and even though I am still not the best at seeing and reading auras, it was pretty hard for even me to miss. It was like he didn't tell me how he really felt because there was no words to describe it. There was something else there too. Longing. Suddenly everything clicked. The way Rose and Dimitri acted around each other and the way they would look at each other. I needed to leave, get out as quick as I can. I started to feel slightly angry at Dimitri and I knew most of it was because of the slight darkness seeping in after using compulsion. I snapped at him. I needed to leave now before it got worse. Part of me feels guilty that I didn't make time for Rose and that she didn't feel like she could confide in me but another part, and a big part at that, felt hurt and betrayed. She would know everything I was feeling and should've have known she could have told me anything. Oh Rose, why did you keep this from me.