Vampire academy - blood spell

Chapter 4

The next few weeks were slow. My guard had been up so long it felt natural again. I feel numb. Like all my emotions are so strong, my body has created a cocoon to shield me from everything. I walk around the school concentrating only on what my five senses are telling me. Still staying alert of my surroundings, my mind starts to ponder the few questions that still float in the back of my mind about tomorrow. I haven't seen my family in years. How much would have changed? I start to wonder whether leaving is a good idea. And with only a second to think, I know it is. What I said to Kirova was true; everything can change as quick as you can blink. That is what I told Rose after we slept together. She was so worried I was going to leave her again and tell her what we did was a mistake. She couldn't have been more wrong. That was also the time I made the decision that as soon as I had a chance I would visit my family in Russia. And that chance is tomorrow. Like always, my shift was uneventful and once it was over, I headed back to my room to try and get some sleep. But like always, sleep never came.

The trip to my home went slow. Most of the trip was spent looking out of windows while tuning out the noise surrounding me. All I wanted to do was get off this plane and walk into the warm, calm house filled with my family. However, after arriving in front of the house I'd grown up in, I found myself standing out the front frozen. A wave of nostalgia hit me as I was flooded with several old memories from my past. My stomach felt like if was dancing inside of me and I had a sudden urge to go book in a motel. I knew I was being stupid. Although I've had my doubts, I know my family would take me in in a heart beat and I was so excited to see them. The only thing holding me back was that they had no idea I was coming. I should have called but, what would I have said. I never know what to say anymore since Rose died. All outside thoughts and emotions have been shut down letting my subconscious take over. So now that I don't have another choice other than to let my conscious mind to take control again, I don't know what to do. Well I know what I have to do, I just need to build up the courage to do it. So with one final deep breath, I take the last few steps, and knock at the door.

[ I know this is a short and boring chapter but I've no idea how to write the next few scenes I have planned... so I'd love to hear any ideas ;) ]