L'appel du vide [frerard]

Chapter 2- Mistakes

I got up the next morning knowing that I had to start my new school today. I was never one to fit in, but specially when I'm going to be attending school half way through the year. The reason I moved to Jersey in the first place was because of bullying back in New York; but I knew things weren't going to be very different. I was considered an outcast, a loser, a failure. That's how I had been labeled my whole life. I never had friends; people don't usually enjoy hanging out with someone who can't form sentences that made any sense in the English language.

I sighed and quickly got ready. I slowly made my way downstairs; really not caring if I was late to school or not. Once I reached the building, I was terrified. It was not the biggest high school building but it was still pretty big. I started to panic. I knew I was going to get lost...there was no way around that. I was a bit thankful that no one was around to see me because I'm not quite sure how I would handle having to talk to someone at the moment.

Once I was a bit more stable I started to plod my way into the school. I finally reached the main office. I stood infront of it for a while not really sure what to do or how to talk. I just stood there. with my hands places tightly at my sides and my legs pressed firmly against eachother. I breathed heavily probably a bit more dramatic that needed and opened the door. Inside sat a lady reading things off from her computer. I cleared my through and started to approch her.

"H-h-hi. um. I-i'm F-frank um Iero. I'm new." I spoke quietly but thankfully loud enough for her to hear me. She quickly glanced up and smiled a very welcoming smile. That conforted me. Honestly, I think I really needed that. Just a smile; a kind smile. A smile that told me that everything was going to be ok. "Welcome to Belleville High School, Frank. I've already got your time table printed out for you a map of the school just in case you need it. Good luck and try to have a good day, Kid." She cheered. I smiled awkwardly as she handed me my things and left.

My first period was math. I liked math. As geeky as that sounds, there's something about numbers that I genuenly enjoy. Maybe it's the fact that I'm good at it and it makes me feel some sence of pride. I walked slowly into the class to realize that it had already started. I quietly walked inside the class room without disrupting too much and made my way towards the back. I could see their eyes looking at me with dissapointment. A sence of shame washed over me as I sunk down in my chair. I tried to pay attention to the lesson; I really did. But I could feel people looking at me while I was trying to work out a problem on my note book. 

The bell suddenly wrung and it was louder than I had expected. I jumped out of my seat and practically ran towards my next class; Science. I could hear people whispering about me. I could already feel all the rumors that where going to be said. I could already smell all the lockers that I was going to get pushed into. I could already taste the blood that dripped from my knuckles that had collided with someones face. To say the least I was terrified. I didn't like school, I didn't like Jersey, and I most definitely didn't like people. I just needed to get out.

I suddenly remembered that boy I had seen at the shop yesterday. Gerard. I had been too busy freaking out about school that he hadn't popped into my head, and when he finally did I needed to see him. I didn't know his last name or anything so screw trying to find him in the phone book. I didn't know where he lived and I didn't know where I could find him. "Same time tomorrow?" His voice sounded. I knew it wasn't 11 o'clock yet how it had been the other night but maybe-just maybe he would be there a tad bit earlier. So I skipped all the way to science, then to English, and then to history. Praying that Gerard would be at the shop earlier than expected. 

Suddenly it was lunch time and I had free period next, so I could easily go to the shop and try to find him. But I was over thinking. What if he wansn't there? or even worse what if he was there and figured out that I was so desperate to see him? All in all I decided the best thing to do was to go because frankly, both of those scenarios would still make me cringe. I practically ran out of school and across the street to the shop. I started to pace around before I entered. If he was there what would I even say to him?