L'appel du vide [frerard]

Chapter 13- Battle within myself

I woke up in his arms and let out a quiet sigh. I could get used to this. I turned around to face him. He looked so peaceful. My eyes trailed over his prominent facial features. His eyelids were softly closed over his eyes and sometimes they would twitch a little. His nose was small and he rubbed it occasionally with his hands like he didn't even know what he was doing. His lips began moving, like he was mouthing words in his sleep. Trying to say something. He was beautiful, everything about him completely breath taking. I think he knows it too, just how alluring he is. It's like he has this way of using that to his advantage so you'll fall in love with him. "you're staring." he says in monotone without moving or opening his eyes. I flutter a bit and my cheeks turn red in confusion.

"how did you know?" I ask shyly. "you're sleeping."

His eyes fluttered opened, "Frank, you know I don't sleep right?"If my face was red before, just imagine what color it is now. I had completely forgotten that the undead don't sleep. It just completely went over my head. How stupid of me. I looked down, "I just forget sometimes, y'know." I shrugged. "If only it were that easy for me, to just forget." Gerard gave a smile. I pushed my eyebrows together and looked up at him, this time with concern. He shifted his weight on the mattress closer to me and gave me a peck on the nose seeing as I was beginning to worry. "You worry too much." Gerard whispered.

"As lovely, as it is just laying here all morning," he looked at his wristwatch, and just like that he became cold and mysterious," I've got to go. I'll see you later." He quickly jumped off the bed and put on his shoes, barely giving me a chance to stand up. "where are you going?" I ask slightly annoyed and curious as to what's more important, "I've got places to be, Frank." He turned away from me without any more explanation, walked up to the coat rack to pick up his coat and put it on, and put one hand on the door handle. He froze looking at the knob. We stood there for a good 5 minutes of him staring at the door, not making a move and me watching afraid of what to say. He gulped and looked at me "Goodbye." he whispered as he opened the door and slowly walked out.

I didn't stop him, I couldn't. I was too afraid. Too afraid of what would happen. He seemed distant, angry at the world again. And that goodbye, it hurt. I wasn't sure why, he said he would see me later, but why did that goodbye seem like more of an ending then a "see you later" ? I began to fondle at the hem of my shirt and pick the skin at my fingers. A habit which I hadn't done in a long time. I walked back into my lonely room, I didn't know what to think. I just knew that there was something in the pit of my stomach telling me to run. Run as fast as I could away from Gerard and never come back because he was no good for me anyways.

But there was also a weight in my chest telling me to stay put and to not move an inch until Gerard got back, because Gerard was good for me and he would keep me safe and that nothing bad could ever break us apart. It was an internal battle between body and soul, between mind and heart. Between right and wrong.

____________________________________________________

I'm so sorry I took sooo long to update but here ya go. This one's for the two cuties that asked me via kik to update. So if you want more updates just like kik me or something yelling at me to write more idk man.

kik- poopyworms