L'appel du vide [frerard]

Chapter 11- perfection

Have you ever had that sort of feeling where you realize that everything you've gone through has happened for a reason.

There was a reason for this; there had to be. I did not know of it yet but I would find out eventually. So far there were only a couple of things that I had gathered. One, I loved Gerard. Two, Mikey hates me. Three, I totally failed my math's test today because I had spent all night awake with Gerard.

He had come over around 10:00 saying he needed to talk. At first we talked. Not about anything important. I learned that his mother had betrayed him and Mikey when they were little and that he was taken under the wing of his Grandmother, Elena. I also learned that Gerard had a soft side. He had these suppressed feelings that I guessed he didn't like to talk about.

The first time I noticed it was when he started talking about Mikey and how he felt sorry that this had happened to him. His face scrunched up a bit and his hands started to mildly shake. I took his hands in mine and just kinda held him there. He looked far off into the distance for a while, obviously not fully with me at that moment. It was okay though, I understood where he was coming from.

When he snapped back into reality he looked down at our hands and smirked. I think that had been the first time I had ever seen him smirk in a genuine way. I smiled lightly and he took his hands out of my grasp and then cupped my face. He looked at me with red fiery eyes. I knew in that moment that I loved him. He kissed me and it was like I everything just went away.

It's funny how something so demonic and dangerous to others feel more like home then anything else. I mumbled the words "I love you" in between kisses. He stopped and looked at me, rather shocked. I felt my face heat and my body start to shake. Oh no, what had I done. I started to panic, "You mean that?" he whispered. He looked so vulnerable. I nodded my head, I truly did.

It was weird to think that since we haven't known each other for so long but it had happened. "You're an idiot." He didn't say he loved me back but he didn't need to. I knew that he did. Somewhere deep in his unbeaten heart, there was a space reserved for me.

He held me a bit closer, like if some sort of spark had both hit us at the same time. He kissed me deeper this time. It was more aggressive. More heart felt. He slowly moved his right hand up and down my thigh. I was breathing heavily now. I knew what was to come but I didn't know how this all worked.

I'd never been with another boy before. How were we going to manage this? I pulled apart. "Gerard..." I sighed, "I-I don't- I can't. Just not right now" He understood what I meant thankfully. He grabbed my face again and kissed me one last time before laying down and inviting me to sit down next to him. He put an arm around my waist and let me rest my cheek on his chest. This was perfect. This was what I truly needed.

Just me, Gerard, and nobody else.

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Guess who's back guys?? I'll be updating maybe once every two weeks. I'm really sorry I've been putting this off, school's kicking my ass.