It all started with Freshers.....

Part four - The Morning After

I woke the next morning with a splitting headache. My stomach was twisting and churning with the beginnings of a hangover. For a long minute I tried to recall the night before. What the f*ck happened last night? I rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes. What happened? I groaned and stretched. My muscles ached as I stretched out between the sheets. My heels must have been too high or something. The muscles in my legs stung.

Rolling over I was met with Stephen laying facing me. He was still dozing. I sat up to go shower. We needed to leave the room in half an hour. I placed my bare feet in the carpeted floor then rose. Sh*t! Where were my clothes? I blinked and raced off to the shower. That was embarrassing.

I showered and tried to remember the night before. Bits of it leapt out at me. I kissed Stephen a lot. I'd really enjoyed kissing him. That much I remembered. I remembered an intense make out session in the smoking area. Then coming back to the hotel. Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. I nearly fell over in the shower. I had s*x with Stephen. Oh sh*t. That was bound to screw things up a lot.

Walking back into the room dressed in the towel, I noticed all the things I'd missed in my desperation to get into the shower. The telltale signs of a night before. His shirt lay abandoned on the floor by the foot of the bed. My shoes in a heap by the door. My dress carelessly tossed to my side of the room. His jeans kicked onto the floor. My underwear tossed to far corners to be joined by his. Tears pricked at my eyes.... What had I done? He was my friend.

I got dressed and started packing up our stuff. Stephen went to shower. When he came back I was stood at the mirror applying a thin layer of makeup so I didn't look hungover. I applied concealer to the dark circles under my eyes and blended it out with a brush quickly. I had tossed my hair into a messy ponytail, my hair high on my head and well out of my eyes.

Stephen wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips to my neck as I stood there. It sent a warm, tingling feeling through me. I didn't want this. We were friends. I tensed.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeh, we're gonna run late for checking out at this rate though." It was a half lie. I was only a little concerned with that detail. More of me was worried about last night.

We packed up our stuff in silence. Neither of us spoke. Though I did notice Stephen throwing me odd looks as I pulled my phone charger out of the wall. I chose to say nothing. Anything to preserve the friendship.

We headed down to reception and Stephen checked us out. As I sat with our bags a little old woman sat down beside me.

"Checking in or out dear?" She asked with a kind smile. Her greying hair was nicely tonged. She looked incredible. Her skin so smooth, barely a wrinkle in it. Only her hands and fashion sense hinted at her age which I guessed to be in her seventies. She wore a long navy skirt to her ankles with a cream v necked jumper. Her hands were wrinkled and lined showing the work she had put into the world.

"Checking out," I said with a fake smile, "Yourself?"

"Checking in. We come here every year for a little break away. Have done for about twenty years," her voice rose and fell like music. She smiled as she spoke. "Arnold's over there checking in."

"How lovely," I replied limply. It was sweet they still made time for each other. Going away together. It was oddly romantic.

"Is that lovely young man your boyfriend?" She asked carrying on with her prompting. She was clearly trying to make conversation. I just wasn't enjoying the line of her questioning. Her perceptive eyes had locked on Stephen who I'd seen open a door for the couple not even five minutes ago.

"He's my friend," I replied uncertainly.

She nodded. "That's always how it begins, with friendship."

I shook my head. "No nothing like that. Just friends."

She nodded in a knowing kind of way and smiled as her husband approached. He was a little old man with little hair but the kindest smile I'd ever seen. He offered her his arm and she rose gracefully accepting his help.

"Goodbye dear," she said as she linked up with her husband.

"Goodbye ma'am," I replied in the same soft tone she had used.

Her words had messed with my head. My hungover headache was now intensified by her cryptic conversation. Why couldn't people just say what they mean and mean what they say?

Stephen returned all smiles. He offered me his hand to get up but I refused gently.

"I'm good, thanks."

He shrugged and instead lifted my bag. That made me sigh with slight irritation as I was well able to carry it. He'd never done that before. In fact I was pretty sure I'd carried his bag about before. He wasn't a chivalrous kind of guy if I was entirely honest. Had last night really changed that much between us? With a gentle twist in my gut I knew it had. Then my heart sank as I realised that was my first time. That had been my first time and I recalled only snatches of it. Oh shit. What the hell had happened to me? I'd been living a student lifestyle for two nights and I'd already messed up big time. Maybe it was for the best that I wasn't a student.

"Want to go out for breakfast, my treat?" Stephen suggested with a smile.

I nodded slightly even though my stomach was churning with the thought of food and my hateful hangover mixed with my own reaction to my stupidity.

We settled on a cafe near the train station. Stephen ordered a greasy fry whilst I ordered toast. My stomach was not going to keep anything worth talking about down so what was the point?

He actually settled it all up at the till and I almost sank into the ground. What did this mean? We'd always been the type of friends who didn't do that. Both of us too independent to allow the other to pay. Both of us too stubborn to let the other pay. Both of us too much alike when it came to money.

We ate in a comfortable silence. I avoided meeting his gaze but I could feel him looking at me. I felt myself growing warm under his gaze. The colour rose from my chest, a healthy flush but irritating all the same. It gave away my silent unease, something I'd have preferred to keep to myself.

"You alright?" Stephen asked gently as he sipped at his coffee.

"Yeh, can't wait to get back to bed," I said with a fake smile. Then I realised what it might sound like. "To sleep."

Stephen sighed slightly. Seemingly a little taken back by my comment.

We got up from the table twenty minutes later. Me looking a lot more flustered than I'd have liked and him looking as cool as could be. Everything I said I felt like I was saying the wrong thing, not that that wouldn't have been typical of me anyway. I was known for saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment. It was a special skill of mines.

We walked to the station and went to the platform. Thankfully it was after midday so it wasn't too packed. There were seats in one of the nicer carts and we sat at one of the seats with a table in the middle. Stephen played a game on his phone whilst I pretended to sleep to try and starve off conversation. I just didn't trust my big mouth.

When we got off the train we said an awkward goodbye. I submitted to a kiss on the cheek and then hurried off in the direction of my house refusing all of Stephen's offers to drive me home or to walk me home. I was insistent I would be okay by myself.

Once in my house I lay down on my bed burying myself amongst the pillows. I cried my eyes out. What had I done? I'd completely mucked everything up with Stephen hadn't I? I was all awkward around him and didn't know where I stood. I doubted every word I spoke and constantly second guessed myself. It wasn't a good way to be. It wasn't easy and it definitely was not fun. Could I just pretend it never happened? I planned on dodging his calls for a bit, just making up vague excuses about being busy at tech and work. In a few weeks it would be all over and it wouldn't be a problem anymore, I hoped.