It all started with Freshers.....

Part six - Stress....

A few weeks passed me by. I was fairly busy. I'd spoken to Stephen once on the phone. I'd realised I did have something for him but was terrified of what I felt. I wanted to run. Rachel was trying to make me run towards him. I was fighting to run the opposite way. It was getting harder and harder to run away from him. Stephen and I were back to texting every day even if it was about generic crap. We were still talking every single day which was the main thing. It was better than the alternative, me not talking to him or making up excuses.

About two months had gone by and I had put on a little weight. Puffiness around my waist. I hated the little bit of weight so I took up running again to shift it. I started doing sit ups and everything. If anything the puffiness got worse.

"You alright?" Cathleen asked me one day as I sat with Cora outside.

"Yeh hundred percent. Just totally wrecked! Yourself?"

"Yeh. You're not right though. You've put weight on here," Cathleen said placing her hands on her slim waist as if to rub my nose in her slim figure. Cathleen was a totey little size eight. I was curvier at a size ten to twelve but I was comfortable with how I looked.

"I can't shift it. It's not even for lack of trying you know," I said with a frown.

"No I saw you out running. No I get you." She pursed her lips as she thought. Then she lit up a cigarette and puffed on it thoughtfully.

Cora ran up to me and handed me a few strands of grass which she had pulled out of the little shared yard.

"Aww thank you bubs," I said with a smile. Cora blew me a kiss and I chuckled and blew her one back.

"You never did tell me what happened up in Belfast, you know?" Cathleen said with raised eyebrow. She tucked her long dark hair over one shoulder and waited for me to tell her something scandalous.

I decided to bite the bullet. She was friends with Mammy too but I knew if I told her to keep her trap shut she would.

"Don't tell Mammy what I'm about to tell you," I began. I knew Cathleen would get the flow of this conversation. Her dark eyes glittered as she waited on a revelation which she hoped with shock her. I was typically the good girl so I was rarely scandalous enough for Cathleen.

"Did you have sex?" Cathleen's reply was automatic. It was the sort of thing she'd have asked me to conceal years ago. When she was like nineteen and I was fourteen. We went way back.

"Yeh with Stephen of all people," I admitted.

"Oh shit. He fancies the hell out of you though! He absolutely loves you," Cathleen cooed. "He is crazy about you gorgeous. Absolutely mad about you."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "That's what Rachel said."

Cathleen giggled at my reply. "He loves you. When yous going out?"

"We haven't actually seen each other since the morning after because I could barely speak to him," I admitted uncomfortably.

Cathleen grimaced. "When was that? About two months ago?"

"Yeh two months ago?"

"You had a period since then?" Cathleen asked bluntly. "Only ask cause it's starting to sound like you could be pregnant."

My jaw pretty much dropped. What? Me pregnant. No way! I couldn't be. I refused to be pregnant. I wasn't ready to be a mom. Was Stephen even ready to be a Dad? I wouldn't make him of course but shit he still would be a Dad. He had exams and shit to deal with. My mind was racing too fast for me to process everything. My heart rate rose and my palms began to sweat. Tears pricked my eyes.