Mute Voices: Spoken Word

Outlet 6

Goodbye Love

     Sitting here with deep pain inside that's so great, I have no outcome. I need so much right now to carry me through all my pain and suffering.  Life had so many turns and not enough roadways. I can't help but to think that the man I love has given up on us. Just the other day, he was the man I fell in love with; Today something changes him. Goodbye love, we can't get married or even have a healthy relationship if it's one sided. What choice do  I have but to move away and stop trying to fix a relationship that's been done?

    Goodbye love, it's nothing to contemplate with. It takes a million attempts and a willingness to want to fix things. I'm to my breaking point. Loving you has taken my strength. We can't continue to move past loneliness, fear or lost of commitment. If two people love each other, it should be a simple happiness and not a single moment of sadness. Love does't hurt. It's  not an act of charity; It's supposed to come natural. Too many people in this world are in a relationship and not happy- I'm one of those people.

     Goodbye we aren't in this relationship for the right reasons. We have failed at every attempt to change, and succeeded at not even trying. I can't help that the difference in him is solid, and he's not who he used to be. For that reason I am saying good bye. Goodbye to our family, the memories we made will only be framed on walls. I'm going to walk out strongly; Not with my head down but with full force, I put in a good fight. Goodbye love, damn, why does it have to hurt so much? Why can't it just come and go like the wind? I put my soul into it, only for it to come back and hit me in the face.

    Goodbye love, you don't love me. Why can't I just see I've been thrown all the right signs? My eyes just can't see what my heart already knows. He's drifting away from me minute by minute. If the seconds keep coming as fast as the pain does, I'll die slowly but quick. Good bye, love. Life is not a quarter you can just spin around hoping it will land on heads. Goodbye love, my flames are burning low like a candle when its stem is down, waiting to be re-lit. Maybe, just maybe, my emptiness is all just a mere dream. Maybe he does love me and I'm just looking at this all wrong.

    Goodbye love, I wish all of this were just something I made up, but it's real, more real than last nights dreams. Good bye love. God please take away my feelings and make me a statue. My heart has never hurt so much, and I've never shed so many tears. How is all of this for one man, who sees me as a pointless conversation? Goodbye love, fading softly, lifting me higher than the earths core. I've been stomped as low as one can go- beneath the dirt and underneath the cracks in the sidewalk.

      Goodbye love, how big can ones heart be? How empty can one human feel without anyone loving them, the way they need to be loved?  I can go on and on but the sentences won't end. So, it stops here. One, two, three, four... Goodbye, love.