The Way of Fate (Book 1)

9. The Talk

Chapter 9: The Talk

Allen

The kitchen door opened just as I was walking into the room, holding onto Sam. I stopped to watch Mika close the door behind him, then turn to face me, our eyes locking onto each other's.

He had left last night without us being able to talk about what had happened between us. I wish we had talked then. At least maybe I wouldn't have been up all night. Between blaming myself for making such a mess of things, worrying if he'd even come back to work today, and trying to figure out why the fuck I even kissed him in the first place, I wasn't sure if I actually got any sleep at all.

My head was pounding, and this staring contest we had going on between the two of us wasn't making it any better. It might actually be making it worse.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, breaking the eye contact. He looked nervous and uncomfortable just saying those two words. "About last night. I-I got carried away."

I didn't know if I was willing to forgive him. I didn't even know if I wanted him to take the blame for it. If anything, it was both of our faults, not just his.

Sam started whining in my arms then. He was hungry, and I still needed to get ready for work. "Here," I said, holding out my arms. "Take him. I need to go."

"Allen," he sighed, not making any move to take my son from my arms. "Can't we talk about this?"

I shook my head. "No. I was willing to talk this out last night. Now, I'm going to be late for work if you don't do your job and feed Sam."

He still refused to take Sam. As much as I wasn't trying to be rid of my son, I desperately needed Mika to take him so that I could get to work on time. I missed too much work yesterday between arriving late and leaving early to miss any work today.

Sam's whines started turning into an actual cry. I stepped closer to Mika, glaring at his refusal to do the job I hired him to do. He eyed my son in my arms, and I could tell he was debating whether to stand his ground or give in. With a sigh, he gave in, taking Sam out of my arms.

"Thank you," I said, the words coming out harsher than I meant them to. But I didn't have time to deal with the tone of my voice. I was going to be late if I didn't hurry.

*

We never talked that night when we got home. I don't know what happened, but neither of us seemed to be in the mood for this conversation. This went on for days, us not saying any more than the absolutely necessary to each other. I hated it, but at the same time, I had no idea how to break the awkwardness between us.

Days turned into weeks, which turned into months. Not talking the way we once had became the norm. Neither one of us brought up that day again, but conversations were still a bit on the uneasy side.

One day, in early October, I couldn't take it anymore. Placing my six month old son on his blanket to play with his blocks, I looked at Mika, who was putting on his shoes and getting ready to leave for the day.

"We should talk," I said to him.

He looked at me skeptically. "Okay... What about?"

I sighed, not knowing how to say this. "About what happened between us, that day in April."

He knew exactly what I was talking about. "Why now? Why can't you just let things drop? I said I was sorry, and that it was a mistake. What else can you possibly want to say about it?"

"That I don't think it was a mistake? I don't know, but what I do know is that for the last few months, I've been thinking about how I think I might be attracted to guys, too. Which includes you, Mika. I think I'm attracted to you, and I don't want us to just forget what happened, that kiss."