Wide awake

Chapter Thirty One. Brownie Drop Defeats Part 2

E.P.O.V

It was a pretty nice day outside, and I was really fucking hoping it was some kind of omen as I made my way to the gazebo at noon. I still wore my jacket, just in case my girl got cold. I didn’t bring anything else with me, because all I really needed were my hands.

She was already there waiting for me when I approached. Her shirt was a problem. It was blue and looked a lot like the one she wore last time, but with a low neckline that would allow skin to skin contact if I wasn’t really careful. If she decided to go through with it. Which she probably fucking would.

She had her hair up this time, most likely anticipating where I wanted to go and not feeling up to slapping it out of her face. She rose from the bench with her bag on her back when I made it to her. She still had the same sadness in her eyes that had grown over the last week.

I just held my hand out to her. Would you follow me?

She did. Slipping her little hand into mine and stepping to my side willingly.

That was another thing about this whole fucked up situation. My girl put all of her trust in me. And I was really hoping that I wasn’t doing something to compromise that as I helped her into the boat silently.

I studied her while I rowed us down stream. She loved looking out at the forest while she was in the boat. I could already tell. I rowed slower than normal, just so she could see more of it. Trying to make her as relaxed as possible. She looked so fucking beautiful in her normal girl outfit. The blue looked so good with her skin, making her look a little less pale than usual.

Her straight dark hair flowed from her ponytail, leaving her neck and ears completely uncovered. The collar bones were there, and a little bit of cleavage, but I tried not to ogle them. Because they drove me fucking crazy and this wasn’t about me.

When we reached the bank, I helped her out, grabbing her by the waist and lifting her over the water so she wouldn’t get her little feet wet. She smiled a little as I set her down and took her hand again. I smiled back. Because it was little, but it was something.

She stiffened infinitesimally as we reached the quasi-meadow. But still followed beside me as I made my way to the same tree in the middle. Once her bag was off, I pulled her down with me against the tree trunk, just like last time as I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her into me.

I allowed us a few moments of silence before I brought it up, leaning down and smelling all her flowers and cookies from the top of her ponytail, and rubbing her arm in something I hoped was a relaxing gesture.

She sighed and leaned into me as I caressed her. Because that shit always relaxed her. And it was a damn good thing, because I was probably going to be doing a lot of it.

I ran my fingers through my hair with my free hand and gazed out at the grass of the meadow, wondering how the fuck I was going to bring something like that up.

Simplicity.

“Do you want me to try to touch you again?” I asked bluntly. No bullshit. Just a question.

She didn’t move or even really say anything for a moment, until finally her head slowly swiveled around to meet my gaze. Her big brown eyes looked pretty fucking skeptical.

“Really?” She quirked an eyebrow at me incredulously.

I nodded cautiously down at her with pursed lips. “There’s this technique I read about that could maybe work for us.” I explained cautiously, hoping she wouldn’t ask why I was even reading shit like that, but needing her to know there was more to it than just grabbing.