The pizza's are warm and we start eating. Before we started I thought that I could eat two of them. Right now, I feel that I will explode if I eat one more slice. I've only eaten half the pizza. 'Are you done?' Die asks surprised. I nod. 'I swear, you need to eat more. No wonder you're so skinny.' Please don't start again. I sigh. 'I'm going upstairs.' Die sighs too. When I'm upstairs I grab my iPod and scroll through my playlist. I don't look and just pick a song. Then I realise it's Make It Stop by Rise Against. I like the song, but for now some of the lyrics are a little bit too close to my situation. I don't think it's a good thing to listen that right now. I pick another random song. Waiting For Superman by Daughtry. Great. Waiting for a saviour. When would mine come? Why do I even have this kind of music on my iPod if it only makes me more depressed? I'll try one more time to pick random. This time I'm going to listen to the song, no matter which one. Saviour by Black Veil Brides. 'Are you kidding me?' I say when I see the song. 'Nope, I'm not.' Die stands in the opening of the door. 'What were you listening?' I don't answer. 'Can I look through your music?' 'Uhm... Okay?' I hand my iPod. '...Damn, you have some good music, but there are some serious depressing songs on it.' I look to the ground. Bad idea! Maybe he'll suspect something... Nah, probably not, I mean, why would he care? 'That's not neccesarily a bad thing...' He says quickly. There's a silence. 'Can I ask you something?' He asks. I just lie on my bed. 'Where are your friends?' What? Is he serious? 'What?' 'Where are your friends?' He repeats. I chuckle. 'Yeah, well, in case you haven't noticed, I don't have friends.' 'But that's on this school, I mean, you have to have at least one friend.' 'No, I don't.' 'But, how is that possible?' I sigh. Is he that stupid? 'Look, I don't have friends, I don't know why you would care, but maybe I just don't want to have friends.' Then a voice in my head says: 'They will just leave you... Again. Even though that was your own fault.' 'Who left you? And why would it be your fault?' 'O my god, did I say that out loud?' He laughs a bit. 'Yeah, you did. But don't change the subject, who left you? And why.' I wish he wasn't so curious. 'It doesn't matter.' 'Yes, it does. Apparently you don't want to make friends because of it.' I sigh. 'It's none of your business, Daisuke. Just drop it, please.' 'But...' 'Have you ever thought of it that maybe you are the reason no one wants to be friends with me? You put the whole school against me. Everyone hates me, everyone teases me, everyone laughs at me. Every day. It's because of you. Not that anyone would want to be friends with me if you hadn't done that.' Die looks shocked. His mouth opens and closes, like a fish. 'What? Don't tell me you didn't know. Ever since I came to this school you've made my life hell. So please, just leave me alone. It's bad enough that we are in this situation. I'm going to sleep.' I turn my back to him.
Of course I can't sleep. I still lie awake at least an hour later. I hear Die sigh. 'I'm sorry... But... you really have no friends?' 'I had one, but... Nevermind.' I'm thinking of my brother. The one who was my only friend. Then I think of Guitarhero. He said he considered me as a friend, right? 'Actually I have a friend... At least I think he is. I've never met him.' I say. 'But... If you've never met him, how...?' 'We email. We don't use our real names though, so we can say anything without being judged. I don't know why, but I have a feeling I can trust him.' I say. 'Uhm, Shinya? What exactly is his name?' He asks, suddenly worried or something.
'...Guitarhero... why?' Why is he being so weird? He asks me to tell him a name and now he looks all shocked. 'O god. It can't be, you can't...' What? Weird! 'Die, what are you talking about?' I ask. 'Die?' 'Shinya, are you Justsomeone?' What?! How does he kno-... No! Probably I'm the one who looks shocked now. 'No! You... You?' He can't be him, he can't be! Oh no, he knows. Die knows about my life. He knows about me doing...that. O god. I must look really scared. I'm shaking all over my body. I look at Die. I see him thinking hard. I'm not, my mind is just: o god, o god, o god, o god, he knows, he knows, he knows, your life is going to be unbearable from now on. He knows what even my mom doesn't know. The person who is one of the reasons I started harming myself knows about it!
