Blind Insanity

13 - Chapter Thirteen - 13

13 - Chapter Thirteen - 13

This wasn't real.

'How could it be?'

This wasn't possible.

'This isn't our reality.'

I blinked my eyes multiple times as if I was seeing another one of my hallucinations.  It had to be a hallucination, right?  I thought and yet even if I rubbed my eyes, the man was still there, standing so uncomfortable like.  So when he didn't disappear I thought that I had really lost my mind.  Maybe I had finally conjured up something that would make my reality like a dream so that I couldn't focus on the true reality.  That was what a lot of minds did right?  Especially crazy minds?

'Is it real?'

This man that was standing in front of me, so similar to my very own looks - if I hadn't been so thin and skeleton looking - was almost an older twin version of me.  No this couldn't be real.  This had to be some kind of manifestation of my long lost past right?  He had to be part of my imagination he just had to be.  My mind had finally snapped.  I was starting to see things that I had always wanted to see, but he's not truly there.  Sure I knew when most of my hallucinations danced before my eyes, but this just had to be one of them.

'Is this happening?'

The older brother that I had watched disappear along with my house had never visited me.  I had never gotten a letter from him.  There was no sign that my older brother that I once knew even cared about me.  I had thought that he would just forget about me, just like my parents had done.  Stored me in the back of their minds and pretend that they didn't have a daughter, or in his case, pretend he didn't have a sister.

'Even we do not know.'

I turned towards the doctor feeling the panic and hysteria start to rise in my chest.  Maybe this was all the doctors doing, finding someone hat looked like me and pretending that he was my brother.  That way I could get a false sense of hope, and they could crush it and smash it along with everything else that I had once hoped or believed in.  That made better sense than my brother finally after twelve years had come to visit me.  He could have come when he was eighteen, when he left our parents house, but not once had I ever seen a sign of him.

'Spinning, spinning round round our minds are.'

"Am I seeing things?" I asked the doctor, the color from my face had been drained.  I must have gone back to looking grey again.  All the doctor did to my question was turn to glare at me, his cruel dark eyes so very familiar to me, for it was the other doctors glare as well.  "I want to go back," the words were not something that I said often.  In fact this was a first.  "Take me back now," I demanded of the doctor and actually stomped my foot.

This was one of those rare times that I didn't want to be here.  I wanted to be back in my room, even the damn dripping would be better than this.  This had to be some messed up delusion that I knew once it disappeared would leave me even more shattered than before.

"It's alright Jayden," the doctor forced a smile on his face, showing fake compassion that made me angrier.  "He's very much real.  He's really here," he said slowly as if he were speaking with a three year old that couldn't understand a word out of his mouth.  My anger started to rise even more.  "You do recognize him don't you?"

'Lies, it's all lies.  It has to be.  There's no explanation otherwise.'

The fake compassion by the anger that he was feeling for me not cooperating with him was battling it out.  I huffed up and locked my jaw, glaring back at him.  "I know who he says he is, but he can't really be here," I said getting annoyed and tired of him acting like I as stupid.  "No one has visited me in twelve years and you honestly expect me to believe that this man is my brother?" I questioned the doctor facing off with him.