All Too Well

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And I know it's long gone,
And that magic's not here no more,
And I might be okay,
But I'm not fine at all.

***

The door shrieked loudly as Taylor twisted the knob with her pale hand. It was dark inside and the air seemed stilled. She was wearing black from head to toe. The little black dress that Karlie liked so much, the one almost ripped out of her body the instant they got home. The black wool coat that Karlie wrapped around her shoulders in one cold December night. Taylor padded mindlessly into the apartment, gravitated toward the kitchen, that one place when everything started. She sat in silence at the dining table. It was the very same spot where everything ended in a blink of the eye. Taylor buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders trembled as she was unable to hold back the tears anymore. That second, she remembered everything.

***

Oh, your sweet disposition
and my wide-eyed gaze.
We're singing in the car,
getting lost Upstate.

***

"I can't believe we're able to pull this shit again after our Big Sur trip!"

The wind was blowing Taylor's blonde locks. She felt like screaming, tasting her brief freedom with her most favorite people. Karlie laughed with her at the passenger seat. She tapped against the steering wheel in beat of the song.

"I know, right? Maybe Tree has already given up on us."

"Well, she deserves a raise after the stunt we pulled last night."

Karlie's voice went soft as she said, "Maybe she deserves an early retirement."

"Huh?"

"Don't you think it's time, Tay?" Taylor glanced sideways, meeting the warm green eyes. "Wouldn't it be nice to be able to do this and a lot more without feeling like we're lying behind everybody's back?"

"Do you think we're ready for this?"

Karlie reached out and put her soft hands on Taylor's bare thigh. "I think we're ready for anything, babe."

"Okay," Taylor gulped hard, being distracted by the wonderful sensation of Karlie's touch on her skin. "Let's talk about it again after we're back in New York. For now, let's just enjoy the moment."

"I'm holding that as a promise, okay?"

"I promise we will talk about this again, babe. We will figure this out. We always have." Taylor dropped one of her firm grip on the steering wheel to hold Karlie's hand on her thigh.

Then Taylor decided to lighten up the mood. "Anyway, why am I always ended up driving whenever we're on a road trip?"

That made Karlie laughed. "Because you're a better driver than me. You know I'm the worst."

"True," Taylor chuckled, still holding Karlie's hand tightly. "Do you remember that time when you almost ran into a red light?"

"Excuse me? That's just because you decided to put your naughty red lips against my neck!"

***

You taught me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me.

***

"We're really going to do this, huh?"

Taylor and Karlie sat across each other at their dining table, having a serious conversation on their plan to finally come out. They had talked before after they were back from their trip, then proceeded to discuss it with their families, friends and colleagues. They were a lot of pros and cons, but it didn't really matter. Their decision was final and their hearts were set.

"It's the perfect time. I'm going to drop my new album and dedicate it to you, my better half."

They outstretched their arms and intertwined their fingers as they met in the middle. Nothing was going to stop them. At least that was what they thought.

"Maybe this is a stupid thing to do, but it worked so well in the past with you," Karlie whispered softly, gazing deeply into Taylor's blue eyes. "Taylor Alison Swift, I don't have a ring right now, nor do I have a slightest hint about what the future holds for us. But I know that the moment I met you, you're going to turn my whole life around. I know damn well that my heart is bursting with joy whenever I am around you."

"Yes," Taylor squeaked, already crying.

"I'm not done yet, baby."

"Sorry. Please continue."

"I," Karlie sighed, "I thought I would've never felt like this with someone. I was wrong. I'm not as good with words, but for God's sake, I love you. I love you so damn much, I don't know what to do with it. Marry me, baby."

***

Cause there we are again,
when I loved you so
Back before you lost
the one real thing you've ever known

***

Taylor was waiting for Karlie when her phone rang.

"Taylor? Honey?"

"Tracy?" Karlie's mom sounded hoarse, like she had been crying.

"Oh, baby," Tracy whispered between her sobs. "It's Karlie, honey. She..."

Taylor knew instantly that something was wrong. Her heart stopped and she felt like her soul was being torn away from her body. Tracy tried her best to explain the situation, but Taylor had stopped listening the moment she heard the word 'car accident'.

***
And I know it's long gone
And there was nothing else I could do

***

Taylor continued to sob in the middle of the dark kitchen. She cried for her lost love and the unfulfilled promised she had made with the love of her life. That was the thing about life. Nobody knew when it was going to turn and crumble. She would forever cursed the day she decided to wait. Cursing at the fears that stopped her from truly being with the one she actually wanted. Regretting the lifetime of happiness that had been taken away from her the second Karlie's car crashed against a drunken driver's truck. Missing her smiles. Missing her laughs. Missing her dorky jokes. Missing her naughty winks and sexy smirks. Missing her whispered sweet nothings as they laid in bed at night. Missing the moments that would never happen just because she waited just too long.

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