Accept

Chapter 4- Lexie

The cool morning air felt invigorating as I found a comfortable pace. I hadn't been running in months, but after waking up from another sexual dream, I needed something to clear my mind. Each dream was becoming more realistic and I wasn't sure if my body knew what was true or not. The recollection of his sensuous fingertips teasing me as his mouth met mine set my body in convulsions. Even after I awoke, I imagined what would happen next.

Classes had started and it was much easier to get into a routine than anticipated. I was retaking the failed courses from last year, with a marketing internship a couple of days a week, leaving no time for a social life. My secret dreams of Chris took care of any social intimacy I needed. Occasionally, I saw Chris on campus as he would offer a friendly wave in my direction. He was usually accompanied by a female entourage, so I avoided him when possible.

I turned up the volume on my iPod and concentrated on breathing correctly with the pounding beat of AC/DC. It was a focal point to take my mind off Chris and completely exhaust myself to forget him. The humid Saturday morning was draining any lingering passionate thoughts that were left. Crossing the street, I noticed a small silver car with a man sitting inside. His eyes penetrated through me as an abnormally strong smell of dirt filled my nostrils as I passed.

 Startled by the sound of a car ignition behind me, I searched the neighborhood for the nearest house to run to. I felt a tap on my back and screamed, expecting to be confronted by the man in the car.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Chris apologized. My heart was racing as I bent down to catch my breath.

I was unsure if I was scared or excited to see Chris. "Sorry, just a little jumpy this morning," I replied. "What are you doing here?"

"This is my daily run. I didn't know you were a runner. Do you mind if I join you?" he asked.

"I'm just starting, so I'll be mostly walking. By the way, don't you have a game today?" I asked, removing the earbuds from my ears.

"Yes, later this afternoon. I always go for a run to loosen up."

"You call this loosening up. I call this a full workout."  I didn't mean to sound sarcastic, but his presence was defeating my purpose of distraction. As much as I enjoyed my fantasy world, I needed to live in reality; avoiding Chris was the only way to succeed.

"I don't want to be rude, but I'm really out of shape and need to focus on breathing without chatting," I said, putting my music on and looking ahead.

He continued to run at my slow pace without leaving. "It sounds like someone didn't get a good night's sleep," he teased.

I grinned at his comment, knowing I could never reveal my secret life of indulgence, in fear it would disappear. Instead, I turned up the volume on my iPod and sang along, pretending he wasn't there. 

It seemed like I had been running all day when we turned the corner toward my house. I was proud of myself for enduring my feat, but as soon as I stopped my legs collapsed and crashed onto the lawn. Chris looked amused as I continued to sing with an off-key voice. I could tell he was trying not to laugh, but I was exhausted and didn't care. He grinned as I turned off the music. Sweat ran down the sides of my leg and into my Nike tennis shoes. 

I rolled to my side, facing him as I pushed away my hair, plastered in perspiration to my face."How can you not be so sweaty?" I asked, stretching my arms above my head.

He laughed and rolled onto his muscular forearms, crossing over my body and holding me to the ground. "Remember, I have been doing this every day since I was a kid. I'm impressed you ran the entire time."

"Well, I can barely breathe and you aren't even out of breath."

"You shouldn't be lying down after you run. You need to stand or sit to get your heart rate down." He looked directly into my eyes, "I can see your pulse beating from here."