Accept

Prologue

If dreaming were a hobby, it would be mine. As a child, my world consisted of flowers, sunshine, and puppy dog kisses.

 Eventually, I discovered other treasures by adding wine and men into the mix of perfection. As an optimistic dreamer, I assumed everything would go as planned. But there's a point even optimistic dreamers have doubts. Was my world as perfect as I thought? Could I have done better? Was it too late to change my life?

 The fearful doubt crossed my mind as I sat in front of my computer.  A friend's request appeared on my social media site from the past; the name of a past love. I froze, unable to accept it. Was my life as perfect as I dreamed it to be? Had I chosen the wrong path in life? The reflection in the mirror confirmed my thoughts; I had lost my zest for life.

 My energy had depleted with my children's growth along with any motivation to enrich myself. There was no desire to want more. Wasn't my life already perfect? I searched for a reminder of who I was as I rummaged through my closet for a glimpse of the lost girl. I stopped at a picture of pink toenails in the sand and wondered where that girl had gone. I still recalled the warm Mexican sun on my head and the vivid blue water slapping against my ankles. The picture had been a milestone in my life and was used to recreate the feeling of knowing exactly where I should have been in life. I looked at the photo, no longer able to remember that sensation. It was disheartening to compare my current status to the exciting and vibrant aspirations I had of becoming. Somewhere along the line, I stopped dreaming.

 My passion was pushed aside for productive thoughts. What was I thinking? What could be more productive than dreaming? At this point, I accepted my past mistakes and channeled my passion for dreaming into writing. It gave me a chance to live a version of the life in which I could choose the outcome. A new face in the mirror; I could choose another if I saw fit.

 Pulling my chair to my computer, I was ready to face the questions I had been so afraid to answer. My life was not perfect, but I knew how to change it. I took a sip of wine and pressed, "Accept."