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Chapter 20- Chris

My hand throbbed with pain as I ran upstairs to grab an ice bag from the freezer. I was furious with myself for seducing Lexie in the shower. I wanted her back, but not like that. Sex had always been an addiction for me. It was my comfort blanket pacifying me for the lack of attention from my parents. I wanted more with Lexie. My attraction towards her was something inside I never knew existed; even sex was not enough.

I wanted to tell her how much I loved her numerous times, but she wanted a different type of relationship. The promise to keep our relationship casual had been difficult to keep. Without words to tell her how I felt, I used my body making each sexual encounter passionate.

My phone continued to ring and I couldn't ignore it any longer. I was sure Caroline was checking on me and I wasn't sure what to say to her. I answered it expecting to hear Caroline's voice.

"Hi Chris, this is Detective Miller. How is Lexie?"

I paused at the sound of his voice. "She's doing well. She's in the shower right now, but I can have her call you back." I wanted to let his imagination wander as to why she was in the shower, hoping to devour him.

"We'll need a statement from her today. Do you think you could bring her by the station or I could stop and pick her up?"

"I can bring her back to her house. She's been under so much stress; I don't want to add to it."

"That will work. Can you have her there at 11?"

It was 9, so I still had time to talk to Lexie before she saw Mike. "Yes, that will work." I needed to find out where I stood with Lexie and contemplated asking Mike about his feelings.

"Great," he added. "I'll be there."

"Are you in love with her?" I blurted out, not knowing where the question came from and at the same time, afraid of what the answer would be.

A moment of silence followed before he responded. "To be completely honest with you Chris, I could easily fall in love with Lexie, if she would let me. But, I think we both know she's still in love with someone else. I think I should be asking you the same question."

I hung up without responding. Hearing it from a stranger made it real and I needed to find out if Lexie felt the same. I needed to end all ties with Caroline at the same time if this was going to work. Quickly I dialed Caroline and arranged a meeting just as Lexie came out of the bathroom.

"I need to get home," Lexie burst into the room.

"Can we talk first?" I asked while she searched for her clothes on the floor.

"I think we've done all the talking we need to," she snapped.

Grabbing her arm, I spun her towards me. "I'm sorry Lex, I know I shouldn't have seduced you but we need to talk."

She laughed without looking at me. "Sex was always good with us. It's the only thing we knew."

I couldn't have agreed with her more but wanted to change that. "Just give me a few minutes before I bring you home," I pleaded to throw her clothes across the room.

"Give me my clothes," she glared back at me. "Don't you think I've been through enough?"

Tears streamed down her face and I wanted to hold her but needed to be strong. She looked like a small child as the towel fell from her head, allowing her hair to cover her face.

"Just when I hit bottom, you use me and break me even more. I hate to tell you Chris, but you can't break someone that is already broken."

I know I'd been horrible towards Lexie since our breakup, but my actions were a cover-up for the way she broke my heart. I had no idea her hatred towards me was so deep.

I grabbed her arms and held her directly in front of me. "I never meant to hurt you and would never use you."

"Can't you see, you already have?" She sobbed. "Let me go, Chris, we can't keep doing this to each other."

"What changed since we were in the shower?"

She looked me directly in the face and stated, "I heard you on the phone."

I sighed, "I'm sorry about talking to Mike about you. I was out of line and I should've asked you instead."

"Mike? What does he have to do with this? I heard you talking to Caroline." She looked upset at she proceeded, "Wait, why did you talk to Mike?"

I wasn't prepared for the conversation and blurted it out. "I wanted to find out how close you are."

Lexie was furious and slapped my face. Her eyes were black with rage as she yelled, "That is no business of yours! You have a girlfriend and I know you're meeting her in a few hours. I'm sure the shower was just foreplay for what you have planned later."

I'd never been slapped by a woman, even though it had been deserved. I smiled at the painful burning sensation on my cheek and grabbed her delicate little hand in the air.

"Don't ever do that again, unless you want a spanking on your bare ass," I grinned thinking of the pleasure it would bring.

She sarcastically laughed and looked with bitterness in her eyes, "I get it. You're afraid Mike is a better fuck than you? Poor Chris, always needing to be the best."

I was turned on by her fiery as she stood dressed in only a towel, but I'd heard enough of her ranting and was no longer able to remain calm

"First of all, I'm meeting Caroline to break it off with her." I paused trying to keep my emotions in control, "And NO, I am not afraid of Mike fucking you. But I am afraid of him falling in love with you!"

"What the hell, Chris.  That's none of your business and I hope he told you that."

I was losing my patience and calmly replied trying to get the situation under control. "I'll tell you what he said, but you have to promise me something. You need to tell me the truth."

Lexie yanked her arms away and flipped me her middle finger. "I don't have to promise you anything.  Who do you think you are?"

I  pushed her shoulder against the wall, firmly with my throbbing hand and proceeded to talk. I wasn't letting her get away without hearing everything I had to say, even if she never spoke to me again.

"He said he couldn't fall in love with you while you're in love with someone else." I paused, peering into her eyes for an acknowledgment of some kind.

"Lexie, is it true?" This time I loosened my grip and asked softly, "Are you in love with me?"

"No! I hate you right now," she yelled. "How could he tell you that?"

I laughed at her remark. "I know you don't hate me. The way you kissed me in the shower wasn't hate. I'm going to ask you one more time and I want the truth. Are you in love with me?"

She looked like a child caught in a candy jar, covering her eyes with her hands while shaking her head. Finally in a broken voice answered, "I'm sorry, but yes it's true.  I know we promised to focus on our careers and not get involved but I couldn't help..."

I stopped her mid-sentence and removed the hands from her eyes. Her soft sexy eyes were filled with tears and I wanted to wipe away her sadness.

"Lex, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. Do you remember that night at the bar?"

She nodded as a large teardrop fell from her eye. 

"That night changed my life. The moment, I looked across the room and saw you staring back at me. I knew then; it was already too late for me."

Instantly, the sadness disappeared from her face and was replaced with a smile. The love I felt looking into her eyes made my knees weaken and I knew she was mine. "I fell in love with you then," I truthfully whispered.

She threw her arms around me, tears streaming down her face.
"Do you think we can make this work?  We're two messed up people," she laughed. "Just look at us."

"Of course. Don't they say, anything broken can be fixed. We just need to be honest and open with each other.  No more keeping secrets and making assumptions."

She nodded her head as our lips met and her towel fell to the floor.