New York seemed to be different in the winter. The noises were different. The scenery was different, even the people were different than they would be in the summer months. One thing that wasn't different was the life it had all twenty four hours of the day. Winter had this way about itself, it made people feel less than summer or spring. But this time, the winter wasn't to blame for the cold between two you .
As the fire was dying the orange light it created was right behind it. The TV volume was muted only giving off the changing programs for that evening. The apartment was quite solitaire. If you listened closely you could hear the late night traffic alive outside.
She lay in deep sleep on his chest, as he sat awake cradling her back. His left hand run up and down the back of her sweatshirt.
The past months of everyday morning to night rehearsals took a toll on them. And in the past few weeks, he couldn't remember when they didn't fight over the smallest things. the depth of her character was consuming her, the emotional hills up and down. Now, it was just easier to leave. He would leave, or she would leave. Minutes later one would apologize with a hug or a kiss to the forehead.
But tonight was different, tonight's argument was scary. Never has one tried to hurt the other but tonight she yelled, "I don't love you." This was it. This was the last fight they would ever have. His eyes became glassy, and his skin turned pink. Without a word he grabbed his jacket and left her standing in the middle of the kitchen. She sunk to her knees an let out a wailing cry. She too, knew this was the end of their two year relationship.
Three hours have passed and he still wasn't home, looking at the phone she wanted to call him. She knew him, she knew he was one who could only calm himself down, other than her that is. Finally she reached for the phone, but in the distance she heard the dancing ringtone.
"Fuck"
Just a few seconds later the front door opened. She ran to see him. Both stopped and made eye contact. And, both wanted to say "I'm sorry," but no on moved.
"Where have you been?"
"I needed some space"
"Three hours? I was worried," she walked towards him and he backed up
"I'm fine" "-look I'm going to pack a few things, go stay in a hotel tonight,"
Before she could even answer he moved passed her and towards their bedroom. Silently she cried, an all she could do was let him go.
She sat with her hands covering her face, when he walked in. He sat his bag down on the floor and waited for her to look up, "I'll talk to you later? I'll come get more of my stuff tomorrow?" She looked up at him and her eyes were sad and tired
"Da-"
"No, Jessica. I mean how can we keep doing this to each other? I just don't know how much longer I can do this."
"I didn't mean what I said, I-"
"That's how you really feel? You don't love me anymore?" he started to cry
"No, I love you. I love you so much, more than I can't even put it into words. Its...Its been a while since I've felt anything real. The last time I did it hit me like a fucking truck! And, there was nothing I could do to stop it . But I was scared, because after loosing a love like that it sort of paralyzes you; you just don't know how to feel happiness. But, then this new person comes along and maybe just maybe you think it is possible...or maybe its just another bus. But you, you were what I felt. After Sam I couldn't even think of myself with someone else, let alone falling in love with someone else. But you- you changed me. Somehow my palms would get all sweaty, my heart would race, and all I could do was smile. And, now that you have my heart, I couldn't even imagine letting anyone else have it. " her words came from her heart
"Why did you never tell me this before?"
"I don't know, "
"-please don't leave?"
she got up from the chair and walked over to his arms
"Danny, I love you so much, please don't leave."
Danny wrapped his arms around her so tight, and rested his right side on top of her head. She was so tiny next to his large frame, it was like she would be consumed by him.
"Jessie?"
"Promise me we will never fight like that again, I was so scared I was going to have to let you go, and I told myself I was never going to let that happen...I love you too much."
She smiled into his chest, "That's my Dannyboy"
As the fire was dying the orange light it created was right behind it. The TV volume was muted only giving off the changing programs for that evening. The apartment was quite solitaire. If you listened closely you could hear the late night traffic alive outside.
She lay in deep sleep on his chest, as he sat awake cradling her back. His left hand run up and down the back of her sweatshirt.
"I love you Jessica, so much."
