A Wager Of The Heart

25. Giving up the game

:::Kent:::

The night passed slowly as I awaited my angel. I scowled at the image of her hugging and giving comfort to that boy and daring me with her silver eyes to contradict her once more. I stood from my waiting position and paced the small space. I'd been informed at dinner that Geraldine would be bed ridden for the next several days. I must have looked amused because my mother also saw fit to inform me that I was to be at my Lady's disposal during the duration of her recovery.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. Where was Charity? I smiled as I stepped out of my enclosure and onto the dirt packed walkway. "You will not win this challenge, my angel." I remarked quietly as I began my search. It might take me most of the night but there wasn't an inch of this garden I didn't know and I would find her hiding spot. 

I searched every bench, every canopy, every fountain, every over looked corner and Charity was nowhere to be found. I frowned as I finally gave up my search and sat down. That minx is probably seeking comfort in the arms of her lovers. I sighed again, exasperated at her continued denial. Perhaps she simply didn't have the energy for another lover.

I growled and gripped my fists in annoyance. If the woman can only handle two lovers, I'll be damned if I'm not one of them. Truthfully, I admitted to myself, I'd prefer to be the only one. I stood back up and began to pace again, my agitation making me anxious. 

I stopped dead in my tracks when I realized where my anger was really emanating from. I grimaced in a self-reproaching way and laughed darkly into the night. "If I'm not careful," I observed out loud, "I'll lost my head." I sat down again to give it careful thought.

I shook my head. I recognized the signs in myself and took my time examining my anger, excitement and overall happiness at the thought of my angel as a precaution against any of them going any further. 

Charity was different from any woman I've pursued before. She was the only one who fought my bed so strongly. Indeed she was the only person to treat me as nothing more than a man. It pricked my pride to have my title and position dismissed so easily by a woman with no claims of her own. And yet it was one of her most refreshing qualities. 

I smiled as I recalled the fire in her magnificent silver eyes as she yelled at me for things that had nothing to do with her. As I thought of her dark beauty and explosive personality I realized how highly I regarded her. I shot from my seat and felt an unfamiliar panic squeeze my heart. I thought carefully of her again to reexamine my feelings and laughed bitterly again. The witch worked her magic over me as if I were nothing more than a fresh boy home from school. I scowled again. Charity would have me say I love her to get her into my bed, and I would with the utmost sincerity and this annoyed me beyond imagining. If I didn't know any better I would say I were in love with her, but I did know better.

Women were heartless beasts and when they realized that you'd give everything for them, they'd take it and cast you aside. I stomped from the garden and to my room where I continued to pace. I refused to be made the food again. Emily would be the last. I cursed her and Charity for bringing her to mind. I wiped them from my mind and rubbed a hand over my face. 

An image of the young widow and her children came to mind. I grimaced, certain I would have done exactly as my father asked if it weren't for Charity. I refused to be led by a woman and her foolish ideas of life and love.

I made up my mind and found my body relaxing for the first time that day. I would find another way to scare Geraldine and leave Charity alone as she requested. Tomorrow promised a deadly gamble but I was ready to win and forget forever the dark angel. The levity that filled me at the thought of a careful game of wits led me to believe my feelings for Charity were nothing more than a fleeting thing. Hasn't it often been expressed that men want most what they can't have? Her continued denials did nothing but urge my pride into believing I cared for her. A few nights away from her would put any foolish notions of feelings to rest. If I convince myself that I want her no more, my pride will be satisfied and all will be well.

To rid myself of Geraldine might prove more difficult. Despite my coldness she still clung to the notion of marriage. Perhaps she wasn't as innocent as she appears and was after nothing more than marriage to an Earl, despite her feelings or my own. I gritted my teeth. I would start to push tomorrow and see how far she was willing to go before she took her leave. 

And she could take that damnable maid with her.