A Wager Of The Heart

79. Explain, now!

:::Kent:::

I watched the tree line where Charity disappeared with apprehension. I told my mind to concentrate elsewhere over and over again but nothing I said seemed to matter. Now that I had her back in my sight's I wasn't going to let her go again, no matter how much I bloody well wanted to. She betrayed me and ran like a child and yet here I was on the edge of my seat ready to chase her down and assure myself of her safety.

"Bloody wench," I snarled under my breath as her face flashed in my mind. The expression she held while watching Bastion, the insecurity and fear, it was enough to have me coming fully to my feet to assault her father. I wanted her gone from my sight so I didn't think about her every second, only every other second. Every beat of my heart ached with my need to protect and love her, even if I didn't want to. Because I didn't. I wanted to banish her from my house, my memories, my head and my heart. Instead, I'm waiting for her to reappear safe and whole from a much deserved lecture, which still pissed me off.

I saw Brandan approach from the corner of my eye and I knew it was time to at least get some answers from my friend. I kept my eyes where they've remained this entire time and ignored him. Just as Brandan cleared his throat in exasperation, Charity came into my line of vision. She was holding her father's arm, laughing and smiling, and I felt a wave of relief followed by a rush of anger and annoyance. I shouldn't care one wit about her, oh but I did. And it rankled my nerves and sense of self-control and preservation. 

I rose swiftly to my feet and faced Brandan. "Let's go." I growled out, I turned and stomped away toward the house. I knew no matter what he had to say, this wasn't going to be pretty. I marched, stomping until we reached the library and I slammed the door behind Brandan as hard as I could. "Explain!" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest to refrain from killing him on his wedding day, tomorrow I would kill him.

Brandan mirrored my posture and watched me for a minute or more as if choosing his words carefully. "What would you like me to explain?" He asked, raising a brow and my consequently, my temper.

"You knew SHE'D be here and you said nothing!" I hissed as I dug my fingers into my arm, barely resisting the urge to know him flat. 

"Oh, that." Brandan said nonchalantly scratching his chin and testing my limits. "I wasn't sure you'd even see her so I kept quiet." He shrugged his shoulders but I could tell he was uncomfortable with the conversation. 

"What. Do. You. Mean?" I breathed each word slowly and deliberately, reaching the very end of my tolerance very quickly. My entire world sat on its head and I felt like an open wound. I wanted answers and I wanted them now! 

Brandan shrugged his shoulders and concentrated on a spot above my head as he finally broke his silence. "I found her by accident on my way home last week. My carriage broke and I wanted a hot meal and a change of horse. She worked at the little inn. No I won't tell you where. I told her about my wedding and asked if she would come. Then I told her when my carriage would be repaired and if she wished to, she could ride with it here."

I breathed heavily as my vision turned red and I had to grab a hold of the chair in front of me or I would beat him to death. "After all we went through you didn't think we had the right to know?"

"No." He said plainly and dodged my lunge. He pushed me backwards hard and my legs hit the game table. It took all of my coordination to keep on my feet. "I don't know exactly why she left and it wasn't within my right to disclose her location. If I had mentioned anything to anyone that would have been the first question asked."

I straightened my shirt and stared daggers at my former best friend but I didn't raise my fist at him again. For the moment. "Her note explained why she left." I snapped peevishly.

Brandan cocked a quizzical brow at me and looked incredulous. "You can't possibly believe that!"

"Of course I do!" I barked, matching his tone.

"Of all the people outside of her father and sister, I thought you knew her best. Apparently I was wrong." He looked down and sighed. "Whatever drove her away must have been incomprehensible."

"What makes you so certain?"

Brandan chuckled darkly, shaking his head. "Because whatever it was made her leave Geraldine and Bastion."

"So?" I asked impetuously, I didn't like the understanding that was slowly dawning on my angry mind. I wanted to resent her forever, at least until I could stop loving her.

"Have you got wood for brains? This is the same girl who openly challenged you and didn't care if she incurred your wrath if you made the simple mistake of not looking her sister in the face." Brandan pinched the bridge between his eyes and winced. 

Good. "And your point is?" I asked crossly, half my mind enjoying picking at him while the other thought furiously about his implications. 

Brandan shot me an annoyed look and narrowed his eyes at me. "My point is that she would fight with everything in her person to stay by Geraldine's side so whatever drove her away must have had an impact on her."

I scoffed at him for a moment and found my anger again. I grabbed a hold and coaxed it into a burning inferno. "Why did you invite her back then?" I yelled. "We were doing just fine without her. I was doing just fine without her!" 

"It wasn't for your sake, it isn't all about you." Brandan said calmly as his green eyes glared at me. "You are as selfish as always, perhaps that is why she left!"

I swung at his smug face and was momentarily shocked when my hand connected with his skin, I expected him to dodge. I recovered my surprise quickly as he too connected his fist with my face. I took a step back and glowered at him. "Say that again."

Brandan swiped his tongue over broken flesh and grimaced at the taste of blood. "You've told me about you conversation between Charity and Emily. Did you ever consider that you misunderstood Charity's meaning? She and Emily had more than enough private conversations and she could have been eluding to any number of things. Did you even allow her to explain herself? No, you through a fit like a selfish child and banished her form your heart without a second glance." Brandan's shoulders were heaving with the force of his anger as he stared me down. "I am glad she's back for my wife's sake," at the mention of the golden haired beauty his look softened, "but I hope she was sensible enough to erase you from her heart before your carelessness hurts her again." Brandan shook his head and bashed into my shoulder as he passed to the library door. "I invited her back because she was alone and scared and longing for her family. Think about that before you start spewing hatred."

I stood staring at the door for several long moments before I collapsed into a chair. I put my head in my hands, careful to avoid the swelling in my jaw. Of course that blonde idiot was probably right. I had latched onto the idea that she was faithless when in truth it was me who lacked faith. I had cut her off and refused to allow her to speak because it was easier to believe she was like Emily than that she could honestly love me. 

I groaned and scratched the back of my neck as I lowered my head to my knees with a thunk. "Damnation." I mumbled as I relived that night in my mind, the good and the bad. How could I not have seen it in the first place? Winning back her trust was impossible and I didn't deserve the right to try but I would seek her forgiveness. I sighed in pain as one thousand burst of energy shot from my heart into the rest of my body. This was it, the moment I finally released the dream of a life with a perfect angel. My angel.