Battle Scars

Scars

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Nico's POV
Waking up screaming and in Leo's arms was extremely embarrassing. I had been having a dream about Bianca. She was dying in my arms after I made her promise to come back to me. Percy was there telling me how sorry he was, but I didn't care. I just wanted my sister back.
When I woke up in Leo's embrace I wasn't repulsed. In fact, it felt nice. To feel loved and wanted by someone who wasn't Hazel. It's been a long time since someone has held me like that and, strangely, I liked Leo's warm arms around me. He speaks to me softly and calmly but, not with pity lacing his words like most people. It's like he actually cares about me.
But he doesn't, and you know it.
He just feels bad for you.
He's just better at hiding it.
After I had calmed down a bit, Leo told me to try and get some sleep. But, of course, sleep wouldn't come to me. Not after what I saw.
So, here I am, sitting in the crows nest, keeping watch. I look down and see Leo at the controls playing with a Rubik's cube. He keeps twisting it and moving around, not being able to sit still. Laughing softly I look at the stars.
What are you laughing at?
Leo probably thinks you're crazy. Passing out on deck, screaming in your sleep.
A loose nail is poking out of the floorboards. I pull at it, trying to pry it loose. I finally pull it free and look at it carefully. It looks clean.
I press the tip of the nail into my arm, drawing blood. I wince at the pain but keep dragging it across my skin.
That's it. Keep cutting. Maybe this nail will give you an infection, and you'll die.
Hopefully.
Then you can be with Bianca.
What are you thinking? She won't want to see you! You're the reason she died! It's all your fault!

A single tear rolls down my cheek. I push the nail in again, and try to quiet the voices. They weaken under the pain, but only for a second. Then they get stronger.

And you saved Hazel instead of Bianca! How would she feel to know that you replaced her?

I deepen the cut and pierce my skin again.

And it's a good thing you gave up on Percy. He would never love you back! Did you honestly think he would? Did you see the way he looked at you? With pity? He pity's you!

My vision starts to go black, the blood pooling around me. I cut too deep. I stand up and start to climb down the rope ladder.

"Nico?" Leo's voice sounds distant like I'm hearing it underwater. My hand slips and I feel myself falling through the open air.

"Nico!"

~
I open my eyes slowly, looking around.

Back in Leo's room. Well, hopefully, that means Hazel doesn't know yet.

Sitting up slowly, I see Leo sitting at his workbench, tinkering.

"Leo?" My voice sounds scratchy and my throat is dry.

He turns towards me quickly. "Nico, oh thank the heavens" Leo rushes to my side and hands me the water bottle on the nightstand. I try to unscrew the bottle cap but my arm aches with the effort. Looking at it I see that it's been cleaned and bandaged.

That means Leo's seen my scars.

I sit up quickly to run but I instantly feel dizzy.

"Wow there Death Breath. Take it easy." He laughs, flashing me that adorable cheeky grin.

"Don't look at me." I feel the tears flooding my eyes and spilling over onto my face.

"Hey, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's okay. I can help you."

"No, you can't! Nobody can! You don't understand! Do you know what it feels like to lose control over your own body? To hear voices screaming in your head that you're not good enough? That there is something wrong with you? You are always so happy and funny and flirty! There is nothing wrong with you!" I scream, trying to get off the bed and run away.

Something dark and sad erupts in Leo's eyes.

"Beleive it or not, Nico, but you and I have fought the same battle! I hear the same voices! I have the same battle scars! I understand more than you think! I only smile to hide the fact that I have nothing to smile for! I only laugh because there is nothing worth laughing at! I'm broken too!" he yells, breaking down on the floor, sobbing.

I jump off the bed and kneel beside him. His hands are covering his tear streaked face and he is shaking from the emotional pain. I pull his hands from his face and look into his chocolate brown eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, Leo." I pull him into a tight embrace, and we cry into each other's shoulders. We stay there for what seems like an eternity, holding on one another, until we run dry and we can't cry anymore. I pick Leo up and place him on my bed, then lay next to him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him, so our noses touch.

We lay there, just breathing each other in until we find sleep.