Getting Over Kaori Miyazono

Chapter 3

Tsubaki was sitting up now, out of my daze, I lifted my head up. I met her eyes slowly, surprised by he outburst. I always knew she was there, but I always shut everyone out. I pushed myself off the ground and aligned myself with her. Still shocked, my face turned from empty to sorrowful. My eye began to scrunch, the edges of my mouth turning down, my lip quivered and I began sobbing. Tsubaki and I instinctively grabbed each other, we hugged each other tight, when I started to feel her cry, almost as much as I was.

"I miss her so much" she wept into my shoulder.

"I don't know what to do anymore" I replied. I let myself go with Tsubaki, releasing what has been in me for months. I didn't let myself cry, not like this, she wouldn't want me to, but how could I not? Kaori was incredible. She was downright crazy, beautiful and lived for her own happiness, not caring what others thought about her and just being a light of happiness shown into our lives, only to be ripped away before I got to tell her I truly, undoubtedly loved her. She reintroduced me to my piano, forcing me to join competitions, and I gave it my all for her and for me. Through her I learned not to play for the composer, but to play for me. She taught me to try new things, be intrepid, be loyal to my friends and so much more. I don't know where I'd be now without her. When my mom died, Watari and Tsubaki never pushed me the way she did, they could see me trudging through everything but didn't pay close enough attention to help me.

At least Tsubaki understood now. She could feel loss like I did. She knew it was ok to push me again. She could be herself around me, and push me to be myself.

After freeing some of the pain, Tsubaki and I calmed down, I was ready to talk about her, ready to let go of her...