Getting Over Kaori Miyazono

Chapter 16

We decided to walk to the stream with the bridge above it that we had all jumped from. The water was murky today, the grass was tall and everything just seemed to be in disarray, much like Kousei.

His skin was paler than normal, his hair a long mess, his eyes dark. We walked slowly next to stream in the grass. His head down, hands in his pockets.

"Kousei is everything okay?" He stopped walking and I turned to him.

"I feel so lost right now Tsubaki, I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"Kousei, why do you feel that way."

"I lost my mom, I lost Kaori, all I've had is the piano and what's that done for me? I've put in countless hours to something that will never give me that time back. I'm nothing without the piano."

His words stung, had his friends meant nothing to him? I felt my eyes start to water, damn it. I had to stop letting him get to me, but how could I? I love him.

I looked back up at him, the pain was deep set in his eyes that streamed tears down his face. "Kousei" I breathed out slowly, "you're not nothing, you're not alone."

Standing right in front of him, I wiped away his tears. "Tsubaki?"

Inching forward, my hands still on his face, I slowly moved closer until I carefully closed the gap between us. I only rested my lips on his, a tender kiss and my tears began to fall. I ached for him, I felt his pain and then some. The sensation washing over me, as I felt whole with him, but extracted some of his hurt in myself. Why couldn't he see that I am here, I've always been by his side.

Once the initial shock left Kousei, he returned the kiss, one hand sliping to the small of my back, pulling her closer, while the other intertwined in my hair, deepening the kiss.

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Her boldness always caught me off guard, but I always knew she wanted this. I forgot about what she was to me, the person I unconsciously turned to, the one who's love was disguised for yours, maybe even from herself, until she showed it.

Although I hadn't experienced many kisses, this, this felt right. She filled apart of me I had lost. I felt her support, her care, her love that I'd lost frequently.

Kissing her felt like standing still, and in the shortest feeling time, she was the one to pull apart. Opening my eyes slowly I saw her stained face but expectant eyes. I pulled her into my arms, holding her tighter than necessary, but I wouldn't let her go out of my life again, I'd never take her presence for granted.

We stayed there, by the stream. In that moment, I felt at peace. One thing I knew, was that I had her.

And then things were brighter, clearer. Whether I needed to or not, right now I didn't want to worry about anything.

We sat in the grass, her head rested on my chest as I continued to hold her against me. Is this what love felt like? A person by your side and overwhelming support. How would I ever know, I never had a real example, as my father was never around.

But it still felt good to be with her. I held her against me, and with her support I knew...

"Hey Tsubaki?" I disturbed our serene silence.

"Yeah Kousei?"

"I wanna keep playing the piano, I wanna get better." I was absolutely sure now, with her by my side, I could conquer my own barrier.

"I'll do everything I can to help, you'll always have me." He held her closer to him and he never felt more secure and conscious.