On The Fence

Chapter 17

That night, I had a dream. I had a dream about me. In church. I had a dream about me in church worshipping, sitting beside my friends, enjoying myself, feeling loved, feeling God....and then feeling this guy. The scene changed and I was with this guy...I didn't know this guy. I figured I would probably meet him in the future. I guessed me and this guy were dating but this relationship was serious; intense. We were in love. So in love we could be married....we were practically married but without rings. I had a baby bump anyways. Then the scene changed again. We were on our own, in a house....I'm guessing it was ours. I lived with this guy...that I wasn't married to but I loved. I lived in a house with a guy that abused me....but I loved him. I loved a guy that abused me and I stayed with him. Why did I stay with him? Out of fear. I couldn't even tell how old I was. He kept hitting me...and when I sniffed I was back at church.....clapping, singing, dancing, worshipping... I was on the praise team this time. I was older. My eyes were closed, and when I opened them, I saw this guy in the congregation. Standing like the rest of the church. Face stern, hands in his pocket, jaw clenched, and eyes narrowed. He was looking right at me. It was as if the scene was in slow motion when I took off out of the church through the back door and he pushed through the congregation running after me. Eventually, he caught up to me, grabbed me by the shoulders, and shook me, yelling at me. I was crying. Hard. I looked behind him (slow motion). He turned around, still holding me and saw two little boys standing there with puzzled, scared, and angry looks on their faces. My sons. I've always wanted two boys: Keenan and Sean-John. I wanted a girl too but I didn't see one. I wanted to cry because this guy was hurting me in front of my children. He looked at them like he didn't even know them. Then his face turned from sympathy to anger. He looked at me with range and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor sobbing. I couldn't move; I just kept crying and crying. 

Then I woke up. I woke up and noticed that my mom was laying right beside me....watching me. Then she said,

"I had a dream you were raped."

Well, that's a great way to start my Friday!- I thought.

My phone vibrated. I checked it and saw a text from Miguel.

Good morning Bree :) ;P

I smiled, Morning, Miguel :)

•••

My dad let Miles take me to school. We were chilling in the den on our phones, when Miles looked up at me.

"So what do you wanna do today?" He said.

I looked up at my phone. "What do you mean? We have school." 

He scoffed, "you wanna go to school?"

"Yea- I mean...I guess. I gotta get an education."

I could tell he didn't want to go by the way he was looking at me, like I'm weird.

I've had a somewhat perfect attendance all semester- I thought -what's one day without school going to do? Ummmmm....

"Alright, I'll drop you off at school--"

"No!....I'll..."

 He looked at me sneakily.

"I don't.....have to go to school."

He smiled. "Sweet."

•••

So first, we went to the park and chilled there a bit. We went on the slides but they were super hot so we tried those rocking horse things. It made no sense for Miles to go on them because his feet were flat on the ground; he was way to big so he just pushed me on my horse. We were such children but it was so much fun. It got a bit hot so we bought some ice cream later. Didn't do much but it was good, still. Next thing I knew we were at the movies.