Sweet Consumption

Chapter 3

        I get back to my apartment an hour later laden with salad, wine, and enough ingredients to make the best cake on earth. I realized something on the way to the grocery store in that no man would dictate how I lived my life. After the arrogant Collin No Last Name so casually demanded I cancel my plans, all I wanted to do was NOT go with him, just to prove that I could. Once I got to the store, it became a vendetta against all the men in my life. 

It was for my Dad, for leaving when I was younger and needed him. He'd been a big shot rock star for a band in the 80's and my Mom says it was love at first sight when she saw him backstage. They got married and she got pregnant within a few months. They had two kids together, but when Mom got mad at him for sleeping with some groupies, he left. We've heard from him a few times over the years, but it's usually just a check in the mail and my Mom rips it up when she gets it.

It was for my brother who ditched me in my senior year of high school to "make it big" with his band in Vegas. He thought he could follow in Dad's footsteps and even tried to contact him. But after lots of unanswered calls, he decided to steal what little money Mom had instead. In order to make up the difference, since she wouldn't call the police on her own son, she worked longer shifts that left me home alone more nights than not. I hadn't seen Sam in at least a year and the last I'd heard, he was going from bar to bar with his band, living off what scraps they would give him.

This was also for James, for making me fall in love with a lie. He took the one thing in my life that I'd earned on my own and made me feel stupid for not realizing what he was up to. He sabotaged my business and took my life away from me, but only because I let him. 

And finally, Mr. Fancy Pants for thinking he can get whatever he wants by demanding it of people, for looking too good in those jeans...and for having a killer smile that makes your brain stop functioning...and eyes that look like the sea at sunset and...dammit! He's a jerk and I need to stop thinking about him and bake the best cake ever, so I can shove it right in his beautiful face!  

Which was why once I got to the grocery store I looked like a lunatic. I grabbed the nearest cart I could find, that was conveniently stuck to another. I spent five minutes trying to unjam it and screamed in frustration throughout the process. A cashier cautiously pushed another cart to me, probably afraid that if she made any sudden movements, I'd ram into her with the cart. I politely thanked her and spent the next 30 minutes shoving things into my cart, laughing randomly at what I would say to these men once I became the next Duff Goldman and had my own TV show. 

By the time I make it to the apartment, most of the steam has gone out of me. My shoulders are beginning to become sore, not only from the bags I had to carry up three flights of stairs, but from the accident as well. Since it was so sudden, hopefully I was relaxed enough so I won't be too sore tomorrow, but I'm sure all of the weight from the groceries isn't helping. 

I heave them in and see my mother and Sasha on the couch watching television. They get up when they see me and help take the groceries to the kitchen. Once we start to unload, they see the cake ingredients and cast me an inquisitive glance. I shrug my shoulders and accept the glass of wine my Mom pours. 

"So," she asks, hesitant, "what took you so long?"

I shrug my shoulders again in hopes that will appease her. It doesn't. She walks over to me with her hands on her hips. I glance up and notice her face set in the determined way I've seen many times before. 

"I was in an accident," I mumble into my glass. 

Her eyebrows shoot up and then her eyes narrow. "What kind of accident?"

"A car accident," I mumble again. 

"What?! Are you okay? How bad was it? Was the other person hurt?" She starts waving her hands in front of me as if she's afraid to touch me. She finally settles on grabbing my face. "Answer me!"