VIXX Oneshots

N: Unspoken Words

My boyfriend is tired. He doesn't have to say it, just from the look of his deep dark eyebags under his eyes on his already tanned face and the empty cups of coffee that sit on his desk, accompanying him through the night, is enough for me to know that he's exhausted. Even so, he still continues with his work, because he is the leader of VIXX--Cha Hakyeon.

He's better known as 'N' but I prefer not to call him by his stage name because I want to date the normal non-celebrity side of Hakyeon, who's just a regular guy and not the celebrity 'N' who has fans from all over the world adoring and admiring him. Calling him 'Hakyeon' makes me feel more in touch with him personally, whereas 'N' is someone that everyone sees on TV broadcasts or at live performances.

Like I was saying, he is tired, exhausted even. VIXX was preparing for their comeback soon and amidst all the dance practices and recording sessions, Hakyeon is also involved in a new drama called "What's Up With These Kids?" alongside with Hongbin. He also has to communicate updates and concepts to the members as everyone is busy with their side projects now. Besides Hongbin, who is filming the drama with Hakyeon, Leo and Ken are busy with their respective musical projects whereas Ravi is focused on his solo debut and Hyuk is pre-occupied with the on-going promotions for his movie "Chasing". Hence, all the members are busy and tired with their personal schedules but Hakyeon, as the leader, is naturally not allowed to show the tired and exhausted side of him, having to be the glue and sturdy pillar of support for his members and as his girlfriend, watching him from the side, it pains me to see him so exhausted.

It was 3.30am when I heard a loud crash from the study room. I got up from my shared bed with Hakyeon and immediately took notice of his absence on his side of the bed. "He must be up working again," I sighed to myself. I pulled my covers off and proceeded to walk towards the study room.

"Ah damn it, that's the third cup I've broken tonight. _____ isn't going to be happy about this." I heard him mutter under his breath. I knocked on the door and waited for his 'okay' sign before entering. "I'll clean that up, just focus on your work," I said to him, as I proceeded to get the broom and dustpan. "No no, it's fine, why are you up so late? Go back to sleep jagi." Hakyeon insisted as he attempted to take the cleaning equipment away from me.

"I couldn't fall asleep because you weren't next to me." I half-whined at him and saw that he blushed slightly at the comment before looking away. "So hurry up and finish up so we can sleep and cuddle!" I commanded, folding my arms across my chest. "Yes ma'am!" Hakyeon saluted before getting back to his work as I proceeded to clean up what seems to be the third cup my beloved boyfriend has broken tonight. Perhaps we should invest in plastic cups instead?

I finished clearing the mess and since I was too awake to fall back asleep, I decided to wait for Hakyeon. I sat down on the couch in the study room and started to read a book, hoping that Hakyeon will be done soon.

After 45 minutes, I saw that Hakyeon was still busy on his computer, searching for new and original concepts for their comeback, after having just completed practising his script for his drama. His eyes were glazed over and I could tell that it was just a matter of time before his body succumbs to the fatigue.

"Is it tough being a leader?"

Hakyeon jumped at my sudden question. He looked up at me with a confused look. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Like, isn't it tiring to have so many things weigh down on you? Look at your other members, they're able to rest after completing their individual schedules and yet you're here planning for your comeback while in the middle of filming a new drama. I'm not saying it's a bad thing and you should stop but doesn't the pressure sometimes just weigh you down so much that you feel like you're being crushed?" I asked.

Of course, I already knew the answer. I just wanted Hakyeon to admit it. Hakyeon is someone who is very conscious of his image and will try his best to not ruin his leader image that he has in front of his members and their fans. It goes to the extent where Hakyeon wouldn't even talk about his own feelings sometimes because he fears that he may not be setting a good example for his members etc. That's why even when the other members complain about how tired they are, Hakyeon wouldn't say a word about him being exhausted, but would instead say encouraging words like "It's okay kids, manager-nim promised to buy us fried chicken and pizza after this! Fighting!" to give his members strength, to be someone the members can rely and lean on when being an idol gets all crazy and tiring. I sometimes feel that Hakyeon doesn't even remember that he's human anymore; that he's allowed to feel tired, he's allowed to let out a frustrated sigh when the pressure of being a leader becomes too overwhelming and that he doesn't have to keep everything in.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Hakyeon let out a sigh. "Yeah, it is," He mumbled. And that was my cue. I walked over to stand behind his chair before wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him from behind. His left arm came to hold my hand as he leant into my touch. I kept silent, hugging him tight enough to let him know that I was here to listen to him if he wanted to talk it out and that I was always here to support him.

"Our manager has been putting a lot of pressure on me. Because the other members are busy with their solo activities, I've been placed in charge of coordinating our comeback plans with them but it's so hard to get a hold of them all at the same time since we're all so busy." He sighed as I nodded in understanding. "Filming has been tough as well, I haven't been able to get into character because I'm either always tired or stressed out and I can tell that everyone's getting frustrated with the constant NGs that I'm making and it makes me feel so pissed off at myself that I can't seem to be doing anything right. Do you know how that feels, _____?" Hakyeon continued, upset at himself for the lack of perfection in his work.

Hakyeon turned in his chair to face me as I released my arms. He looked at me straight in the eye and smiled a tired smile before holding both of my hands in his and continuing "But do you know what makes everything better? Me coming home every day after work to see your beautiful face again. I especially love how your face lights up whenever you see me enter the front door and how you'd always give me a hug and a kiss to greet me before leading me to the dining table to have dinner together, and how you're always so excited to brag about a new dish that you just learnt to cook and that face of anticipation when you're waiting for my reaction to your dishes, which you always know, are the best." He admitted before pulling me into his lap as he leant his head into the crook of my neck. "You never fail to give me strength whenever I feel weak. As long as I can see your smile, I'd immediately forget about my tiredness." He looked up at me lovingly as I smiled a huge smile at him, touched by his confession.

"Of course, if you give me a kiss, I'd be even more energetic." He joked but I still grabbed his face with both of my hands and kissed him passionately, as though my life counted on it. Hakyeon, being Hakyeon, will always put others' well-being before his own. He probably saw that I was worried about him and so he decided to say those words, to assure me that he was doing okay. It was sweet of him to do so, and his words were even sweeter. He wasn't lying about his confession but I knew that he did it because he saw that I was worried for him. Nothing else had to be said. That kiss conveyed everything I wanted to say to him -- the fact that I understood him, the fact that I'm always here for him and that as he continues to be the pillar of support for his members, I'll continue to be the pillar of strength for him to gravitate to for support and comfort, and of course, that I loved him with everything in me.

And I knew that he understood my unspoken words because he smiled into the kiss and pulled me in closer.

AUTHOR's NOTE:

Hello! I honestly think N is a great leader for VIXX and even though he gets teased often, the members still love him :-) Have you guys checked out N's drama and Hyuk's movie? I haven't watched N's drama yet but I heard that it wasn't that great and that "Tomorrow Boy" was better. What do you guys think? I started on a new book that centres around a relationship with Hyuk called "VIXX: Dating Hyukkie" Do check it out :-) Please comment/like/vote, it'll make me really happy!!

xx, girlwiththedaisy