Don't You Dare Fall In Love With Me [Synyster Gates Fan Fic]

Chapter 6

I made my way downstairs once I'd had a shower and got dressed. I was worried about what Jimmy and Zack would say, or think. I'd gotten into a real bad state last night, even though I'd promised never to do them sort of drugs again. I went back on my promise to Jimmy, I knew he'd take it bad.

I saw Matt, Jimmy and Zack all sat in the kitchen together drinking beers. They saw me walk in but none of them said anything. I leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Matt looked up at me, knowing I had something to say.

"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything to any of you, but I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did last night, it was a stupid mistake. I already know that you probably hate me now," I said, then turned to Matt, "even though you said you don't."

I turned to face Jimmy, looking deep into his blue eyes. "And I'm really sorry, Jimmy. I broke my promise to you. I didn't mean to get so bad. I really didn't. I didn't know it would end up like that. I don't expect you to ever forgive me. I know I pushed it too far this time. But I just want you to know how sorry I am." I took one more deep breath before continuing, "And I'm going to be out of here by the end of the week. You'll never have to see me again."

I walked out of the kitchen without looking at them. I'd decided earlier that I would stick to what Jimmy had said. Clean up or get out. I was going to leave. They didn't need me as their burden, I was just making life harder for everyone. I walked into my room and sat on my bed.

 I picked up my phone and rung a number I hadn't rung in over a year. I was anxious as the dial tone sounded in my ear. It was a few rings before there was an answer on the other end of the phone.

"Ashley?" the voice asked in disbelief.

"Hi, Mum." I said, shyly and slightly scared. I knew my parents didn't really want anything to do with me. But I refused to let Matt look after me any longer, and I was relying on my parents to help me now.

"What makes you call? We haven't spoken in ages. I miss you, you know." she said. I knew what she meant, she missed the old me. The one who didn't have a drinking and drug problem. The one who was the perfect daughter.

"I know, I'm sorry Mum. I know I have no right to ask you for anything, because I should be the one giving something back to you, for all the shit I put you and Dad through. But I really screwed up. I promised Matt and Jimmy and everyone that I would quit the drugs.. but last night I really went too mad. If Matt hadn't found me.. I don't know what would have happened..

I know it's far too much to ask.. but I was wondering if I could move back in? Just for a while. I'm gonna get help. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to be normal. I really do. I just.. I just don't want to have to be the one who everyone looks at in disgust. I want to be like I was before. I want to be the daughter you loved." I said sadly. Half expecting her to put the phone down and tell me where to go. But to my surprise, she didn't.

"Of course you can, Ashley! I'm not happy that you've gotten yourself into such a mess, but I'm happy that you realise you need to stop. I believe if you go to the doctors you can book yourself an appointment with a therapist. I actually know a very good one, a friend of mine. When can we expect you home?" she said, I smiled when she said 'home'. I never considered anywhere my home anymore.

"Would tomorrow be good? Or I could leave it until Friday if you'd like?" I asked, not wanting to pressure them.

"Tomorrow would be brilliant, darling. I know your father will be happy to see you." she said, almost excited that I was going to be staying with her.

"Okay, I best start packing then. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you.." I said before putting the phone down and laying down on my bed. This was it. I was leaving Matt's life. And I told myself then and there, that once I got back on my feet, I was leaving. I was leaving Huntington Beach for good. I wasn't coming back, I was going to leave everyone behind and start a fresh. It would be better for everyone.

I woke up the next morning, I didn't know the time, but I knew I needed to go. I could hear the rain pouring down outside and it just made my bad mood a little bit worse. I'd packed my things last night and didn't talk to anyone, even when Zack came up to talk to me. I wanted to know what he was going to say, especially since he never talks to me, but I just ignored him.

I managed to drag two suitcases of my belongings downstairs without difficulty. I walked into the living room where everyone was, including Johnny, Brian, Zack's girlfriend and Johnny's girlfriend. Brian looked up at me but I avoided his stare, not wanting to start anything awkward.

"Matt.. could I talk to you for a moment?" I asked. He got up from the sofa and followed me into the hallway where my suitcases were.

"I'm gonna go stay with Mum and Dad until I clean up. I'm not gonna be a burden to you anymore. But I was wondering if I could ask you for one last favour, even though I really have no right to." I said, looking at the floor.

"Oh. I see. Are you gonna come back here when you.. sort it all out? And what do you need?" he said, clearly lacking the words to say.

"No. I'm gonna get my own place," I left out the part about me leaving them behind forever. "And I was wondering if you could drop me off at Mum and Dad's place.. I don't really have any other way of getting there.." I asked.

"Of course. I'd like to see Mum and Dad, too. I'll go see if any of the guys wanted to come." he said, walking back to the living room and returning with only Brian. Great, more confusion. I thought to myself. I smiled at Brian slightly, who returned it.

We walked to Matt's car, Brian helping me drag my suitcases out and putting them in the boot of the car for me. We sat together in the back of the car and I sat silently looking out of the window at the passing tree's as Matt played his mix CD.

"Will you be coming back at all?" Brian said close to me. I assumed Matt couldn't hear as he didn't even move. He was too busy bopping his head slightly to the sound of Corey Taylor's voice blasting out of the speakers.

"Nope. I'm staying away. It's the end of us.. whatever that was supposed to be.. it just wasn't working out for me. I'm sure you'll find someone else even better." I said, trying to smile at him, but failing. I couldn't avoid the pain spreading through my chest. I was never going to see Brian again, and that hurt, much more than I ever imagined. I must've fallen for him. So it was certainly a good thing that I would never see him again.

"But, Ashley. I'll never find anyone like you. You were like a best friend and.. a lo-" he paused, realising what he was going to say. Was he going to say lover? He couldn't be falling for me. It would be too fairytale-like for us both to fall for each other.

"And a fuck all in one. Every man's dream." he corrected himself, straightening up and looking out of the window for the rest of the car ride. I didn't say anything more to him, I didn't want to give away my feelings to him, and though Matt knew my true feelings, I hoped he wouldn't say anything either.

We arrived at Mum and Dad's house shortly after setting off. They didn't live too far from Matt, but it was a long walking distance. I knocked on the door and Matt helped me take my suitcases to my old bedroom. Brian stayed sat in the car as Matt and I greeted our parents.

"I can't stay long, Syn's in the car." Matt laughed.

"Ok, son. You be safe, y'hear me." Dad said seriously. He'd always been very strict about driving after one of his close friends died in a tragic car accident before Matt or I were born.

"Always am, Dad. See you all later, yeah. Bye Ashley, be good." he said, giving me a hug and leaving. I watched as the car pulled away in the rain and stared out into the empty road.

"So, do you want me to make you an appointment with the doctors?" my Mum asked, giving me a small hug as I nodded my head. I really was gonna quit the drugs now. I couldn't let everyone down again.

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Hello! I don't know if you think this story's going a little too fast, but I don't really wanna drag it out too much. I know where it's going already and I usually find stories that are dragged out too much a little boring...  but let me know what you think.. and vote if you liked it! Votes mean a lot to me! So do comments! :D :D