Don't You Dare Fall In Love With Me [Synyster Gates Fan Fic]

Chapter 16

WARNING, this chapter's kind of shit.. sorry:3

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I woke up the next morning, cold and alone. Joe had left sometime during the night, like he had all the other times we'd ever been together. I tried not to feel guilty about last night. I hadn't proved anything to myself, nothing except that I was in fact a mess. It wasn't just drugs anymore.

I couldn't control myself.

Although Brian and I weren't officially together, I doubted he'd slept with anyone last night. Whatever I was thinking last night was completely irrational. I got out of bed and numbly walked to the bathroom and took a shower, trying to clean away the feeling of dirt from my body. It didn't work.

I dressed in the most unflattering outfit I could find in my wardrobe, simply because I felt like that. I wanted to look disgusting, I didn't want to be noticed.

I headed to the shop in my baggy jumper and joggers, without a trace of make-up, and with my hair tied up in a loose bun on the top of my head. I highly doubted anyone would recognise me, even my Mum. Which made me think, would Matt tell Mum and Dad I was coming back into their lives?

I hadn't had a text or call from anyone, so I didn't think so.

I quickly grabbed some sausages, milk, butter and pasta before heading to the checkout. But on my way I was stopped by the huge selection of alcohol they had, that I'd never really noticed before. My eyes stopped on a bottle of vodka.

I hadn't been drunk in so long, I couldn't stop myself when I reached out and added the bottle to my basket. I wouldn't get as drunk as the night before I left Huntington, I told myself. And I knew I wouldn't.

I paid for my items and quickly walked back to my apartment, eager to start drinking. It wasn't often I drank alone, but right now, I felt the need to. I got out a glass from my cupboard, and poured myself a glass of vodka with lemonade. I drank the whole glass in less than 5 seconds, letting the stern kick of the vodka hit my insides.

It was a sort of rush that I'd missed. The harsh sting at the back of my throat. I poured myself another glass, and another. I soon ran out of lemonade and just drank the vodka straight. I didn't even mind the disgusting taste of it as it ran down my throat.

It wasn't long before I was drunk, and I couldn't really see straight. I didn't even think as I picked up the phone and started to look for Brian's name in my contacts.

"Ashley?" he said, he sounded happy.

"Hey, Brian!" I slurred, unsure if he could even understand my words.

"Ash... are you.. are you drunk?" he asked, worry lacing his every word.

"Maaaaaybe." I giggled.

"No, Ashley, what are you doing? How much have you drunk? It's only 1 in the afternoon!" he sighed, and even drunk, I realised that this phone call was a very bad idea.

"It's a one off. I haven't been drunk in soooo long! I needed to take my mind of something very very very naughty I did last night." I said, pouting and shaking my head like a little girl, although Brian couldn't see me.

"W-what? Last night.. are you trying to tell me you didn't mean what you said to me?" he asked.

"No! I rung Joe last night because I thought you would be having sex with other women because you're a big rock star with a big big dick." I said, giggling to myself like a little schoolgirl.

"Joe? Who the fuck is Joe?" he asked, and even I could sense his anger.

"A frieeeeend. But, I did something bad, and I regret it all."