Social Anxiety

7- Anxiety attacks

I planned for this chapter to describe how a anxiety attack is for me( Instead of 'I' I putted 'you' I thought it will sound better!) :

It just really feels like you're trapped, deep down in an ocean. You don't know where you are, you just want to get out, hide. But you can't, the ocean holds you tight.
Your mind goes wild, naturally you will think you will die.
Drowning in this ocean, named tears.
You kinda fee pathetic, worthless, hated and judged.
You can't get out, everyone silently judges you, thinks you're dumb. You feel pathetic because all you need is swim to bottom, to the safety called land.
But you can't do an "simple task" like "that".

But somehow..it's like a dream. You feel dizzy and don't attached to your body, you can just hear these negativ thoughts, nothing else. They are louder than anything, surrounding your mind completely.

You want to find your body because it will give you a clear mind, that's what you think.
But even when you try to move your eyes they just won't budge, whether they are closed or staring to a point, the whole time you are shaking.

You Panik more and more. You can't even think: "it's okey, it will end." Because it won't.
A feeling that's hidden somewhere in your thoughts tells you it will never end.

You want to accept it, but something doesn't wants to accept it, it's called fear of dying.

As your heart races more and more, your mind goes wilder and wilder, your breathes get faster and faster, the feel of suffocating creeps more into you.

You suddenly snapped back into your real body.

You feel the last tears rolling down your cheeks, then your tears slowly stopped, your heart gets slower, but slightly races, your breaths are fast but they slowed down.
The negative thoughts are like whispers, slowly disappearing.
The attack is over..

But somehow, you feel dead.

Soo... I don't know. This is just how I feel. I don't know about others, there are so many different types of feeling.
Thank you for reading.