Suburbia|tronnor|

Blue Neighbourhood- The Trilogy

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"It's exactly the same." Troye said, smiling, as he looked around his old neighborhood.

He'd been gone at tour, his music career kicking off. He stayed in America for a couple years.

"I haven't been here in forever." Dan said. "That was my dad's house, right down there." He pointed out a house almost identical to Troye's, showing his long time boyfriend, Phil, where he used to spend his summers.

"And that's the hill that leads to the beach." Troye included, thinking out loud. He was mostly trying to prove to himself that he remembered.

They walked on for a while, Dan and Phil hand in hand. Troye shoved his hands in his pockets, pretending not to be jealous of their relationship.

Ever since Connor, Troye didn't date anyone. It's not like he didn't try, it just never worked out.

There was Tyler, but he was bubbly and always smiling, an all around happy person. Troye's mood was forever changed, never too happy or excited. His music career made him ecstatic, but other than that, he was always neutral.

Troye slowed as he realized that they passed the turn to the beach and were approaching an old worn out house with small boats scattered across the yard.

Connor's house.

He came to a complete stop, not knowing how to react. His childhood seemed to flash before his eyes, all the way up to the dreadful day of Peter's funeral.

"Is this that old lad Connor's house that you told me about?" Phil asked innocently. He was slightly older than Dan, but he had the heart of a child.

"Uh, yeah." Dan said awkwardly. He was sympathetic, but he didn't know how to react. "Do you- uh- do you wanna go inside, Troye? I bet the doors unlocked. Or we can go back to the beach. I bet the jetty's still there."

Dan was trying, but everything he said brought more nostolgia and pain.

Troye's words were caught in his throat. He tried to speak but that ended up in a chocked sob. His knees buckled and he fell, unable to support his weight with all this emotional exhaust.

He curled up, hugging his knees and sobbing.

He cried because he was back home, back in Suburbia. There was so much history in the streets he walked down and the very street he was crying on, in the people he's left for his career and the people he kept with him.

He cried, thinking about all the songs he's wrote for Connor Franta. for him., Wild, Fools, Talk Me Down, etcetera.

He cried because he knew his parents and family had a secret hatred for Connor after Troye told them he was gay. He cried because they wouldn't accept him.

Mostly, he cried for Connor. Their friendship, their short relationship. Their many years together, the secrets and inside jokes and codenames.

He cried because he knew he could have saved his lover. He could had rescued him, but his petty feelings got in the way. He could have done something more, he could have gone closer. He could have saved him.

And now, Troye knew, suicide didn't just kill one person.