Daughter Of Death

Chapter Five

I called sick to my work for a week. So I don't have to worry about crying in the public, that would drag me deeper on the hole I am in right now. I
want to find my biological father but I do not know where to start. The only hope I have was my mother. But she doesn't even know the name of the guy that helped her create me. How can I start when I have nothing in my hands right now.
I just want to curled up and die. This was all so consuming and tiring.

"You just have to believe even if others don't."

My father's words rung in every corner of my mind.
I just have to believe in myself and viola!
All my questions would be answered.
But it was not like that, its far from that actually.
I don't even know where am I going to pick just an ounce of courage to face my reality. My destiny.
I love to believe that I am living a peaceful and normal life. Like others do.
But I also know that one of this day I have to face it.
Even if it terrifies me to the bone. Well, atleast if I found my father I won't be alone in all of this. Maybe he knows something. My mother said it herself I look like him now that I have changed. The genes of my father was the responsible of my physical my changes. So maybe I can start with my new face. Yes! That's it. I can do a face scan in all the secrurity camera in the town. I won't be called the best hacker for nothing.

"Who calls you best hacker again?"
A voice in my mind teased me.
"Oh! Shut up!" I retorted.
I really have to stop doing this. Someone might see me and send me to a mental institution.
"You know its illegal, right?"
"Can you just shut up already!"
"Your annoying me."
""And yes I know its illegal. And I am the only one the that knows about my ability bacause I don't have someone to talked to. Satisfied? Now shut up!"
I snapped to no one. Well, to myself actually.

This well be a very long week.

"You have to believe even if others don't."

My father's words rung out again but this time I can finally understand the meaning underneath those words.

All the answer to my questions was just here with me. I have it all along, I'll just have to open my eyes.
I  don't have to be scared of who I am. I am myself. Not the genes that my biological father passed on me. Not the names they called me. And not what they thought I am.

With that thought I started working my ass off.

Three days later and I haven't found something that would lead me to him or more precisely I haven't found a match to my face. My new found hope were slowly dwindling as the day passed with still nothing.

Maybe I missed some important details.

Think.

Think.

What did miss?

Or maybe I am looking blindly. A specific place maybe.
But I can not ask mom where did they make me, right?
Where did we live twenty one years ago?
Or my birth place.
That's it!

I stand excitedly knocking the chair on the process. My sore butt no longer mattered. My dwindling hope comes to life, like it was been lit with a match. The excitement bubbling in my chest was overwhelming that I want to cry. I know it's to early to celebrate but the promised thrill in this journey was unmistakably strong.

As fast as I could, I packed the necessary things I would need in this journey in my traveling back pack. Jeans, blouses, t-shirts, undergarments, toiletries and my trusty laptop. I have a quick shower then put on a new set of clothes. I applied a small amount of make up for me to look more presentable since I am traveling on a train.

After unplugging every appliances in my apartment, doble checking everything and when I am satisfied everything was in order. I grabed my back pack and stand in the center of my apartment. And saved every detail of this place in my memory. I have a strange feeling that I am not going home for awhile.

I've been sitting on the train for an hour but I felt so restless. Different scenarios playing in my head making me anxious and more paranoid. But the hope and anticipation on what to come in this journey was out of this world, its exhalirating.

As the beuatiful scenery from outside pass by a blur. The paranoia seems to ease little by little. I felt more relaxed on my chair as my consiousness slowly drifting into the dark abyss I am so familiar.

I awoke with a start with the passengers sceaming in panic.

What's happening?

I tried to stand from my sit but knocked out by a stranger running to the back exit. Bits and bits of panicked words slowly made sense.
Other train.
Collied.
Were all gonna die. I scoffed at this.
Mistake.

At this small information the situation hit me like a rock, knocking me again. My breathing come short, audible gasps leave me more breathless and weak. My whole body went limped.

There's a train coming our way. The rail must have not change to other direction. This will be the end of my story.
And to think I haven't even started yet.
Life was so cruel indeed.

But I can not let this destroy me easily. I must find a way to survive this. I must escape before it was to late.

But what about the other passenger? The children?
Will you just leave them to save yours?
The annoying little voice in my head piped in.

Guilt swelled in my stomach but this time I didn't let it push me down. The faith and hope was not gone instead it was intensified. The will to save everyone was so strong.
All my life I was always given a chance to save someone. But I've been so coward to face who I am. To scared to change the non-existing peaceful and normal life that I have.
And now I was given a chance, once again. I am not going to waste this opportunity to save others even if it kills me. Atleast I am not going to die being a coward.

But what about your quest on finding your real father.

"Screw it. I am gonna die after all."
This time I am fearless. This time I didn't care if they thought I am nuts.
This time I didn't care if they put me in the mental institution if I survived this.

Well, the last one was a lie.

Then I tried to stand steadily on my two feet only to be shake violently.

What the-

I was yanked back to my sit. I tried to stand again but I was yank back again.

There was an invisible force keeping you in place.
The annoying little voice concluded.

Then something or rather someone chuckled its breath touches my left cheek. I shivered. Then it spoke.
"Love, wake up."
I frozed. I tried to remember where did I hear that voice before. But I can't point where or who in my confused state.

Then it shake me again this time, more frantic than the first and second time.

Then I was pulled to the reality. I blink once, twice, to clear my foggy surrounding. But before I can see the thing's face I was pulled up to my feet and being drag to the back.

Exit.